Sue Scheff: Education and Exercise

EDUCATION AND EXERCISE

By Sarah Newton

Get your students moving

I do believe that a lot of current schooling is failing our young people. It feels, in some cases, that schools have gone backwards in their approach to young people and that despite lots of innovations in education, it feels as if we are no further forward in our approach to education.

As I sit here looking at my bookshelf I am reminded of two books that I really must read, Spark and Brain Rules, which both talk about the effect of exercise on learning. Currently, in the UK, most schools are cutting down on exercise in the curriculum and exercise; it appears to be of secondary importance to results and achievement. And then we wonder why we have an obesity problem among our children. However, there are pockets of amazing things happening, like one school in America that ensures every student has PE each day and has including PE-ready sessions before remedial Maths and English, with incredible results.

Here is why exercise needs to be incorporated into education, study plans and anything to do with learning.

1. Aerobic exercise produces new cells
2. Exercise produces a hormone that is like Miracle Grow for the brain
3. Exercise produces serotonin which helps with memory
4. Exercise produces dopamine that makes us feel happier
5. Exercise produces a hormone that helps with energy
6. The hormones released by exercise are the chemicals that are contained in drugs given to students with ADD.
7. Exercise helps the mood and cognitive ability of students
8. 20 minutes is the maximum one should be sitting still, focused on one thing. This should be followed by a 10-minute exercise break
10. Exercise improves self-esteem
11. Having children exercise before exams can improve their results by 20%

4 tips Schools can give to Parents
Getting your Teen Exercising

1. Have your child walk to school or exercise before school if possible
2. Make sure their breakfast is one that produces glucose
3. Have them exercise before doing homework and take a brain break every 20 minutes
4. Study plans to include exercise and diet as part of the process.

What can schools do to get children moving?

Watch this video and get this book or also listen to this podcast

Sue Scheff: Video Game Addiction

Source: Connect with Kids

“When kids don’t have access to the computer, they feel unhappy, disphoric, bored, lonely. They need the computer and the computer game again to gain their sense of control, mastery and feel happy again.”

– Ashraf Attalla, M.D., Child Psychiatrist

For years Kristen Blosser has loved video games. She plays every single day.

“Four hours a day. Um you know if I don’t have anything to do that day I will try and play all day long,” says Blosser, 19.

Her current favorite? “World of Warcraft. It’s been a game that I’ve recently gotten addicted to.”

Kristen may joke about being ‘addicted’, but according to researchers at Iowa State University, nearly 10 percent of kids are video game addicts.

“Video games are very addictive,” says Dr. Attalla, “And some adolescents, children, become addicted to games. They play enormous amount of time on games.”

Experts say spending more than 14 hours a week playing is one indicator. “Consistent preoccupation with the game is another thing. Feeling euphoric and happy,” says Dr. Attalla, “Depressed and lonely when you’re not playing the game and the constant urge and need to keep playing the game to feel happy again. Those kids can’t finish their homework anymore on time. They’re socially withdrawn from their circle of friends. They’re not as interested in other things.”

Both Zachary Moore and his dad love video games, but they play no more than an hour per day.

“My mom or dad stops me when I get too much,” says Zachary.

“I mean it’s not something that they just turn off. I mean you have to basically manage and tell them to stop playing,” points out his father, Charles.

Dr. Attalla says it’s simple: “Access to the computer, the kind of games that they play, the amount of time that they spend should be tightly controlled by the parents.”

Tips for Parents

For many parents, video games are likely to be low on the list of addiction risks for their children. But as the video industry continues to grow, video game addiction is a problem being faced by more and more parents. This is especially true as the landscape of the video-game industry continues to change. Gone are the days of Super Mario and Donkey Kong. In their places are dark, adult-themed games like Grand Theft Auto and Mortal Kombat.

While video games in and of themselves are not bad, excessive and unobserved game playing can lead to problems. According to experts at the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF), there are steps you can take to lessen the likelihood of your child getting addicted to video games. Consider the following:

Limit game playing time. (Recommended: No more than one hour per day.)
Play with your child to become familiar with the games.
Provide alternative ways for your child to spend time.
Require that homework and jobs be done first; use video game playing as a reward.
Do not put video game set in a child’s room where he/she can shut the door and isolate himself/herself.
Talk about the content of the games.
Ask your video store to require parental approval before a violently rated video game can be rented by children.

When buying video games for your child, it is important to purchase games targeted at his/her audience. The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) rates every video and computer game for age appropriateness (located on the front of the packaging) and, when appropriate, labels games with content descriptions. The ESRB’s current rating standard is as follows:

EC – Early Childhood (3 and older)
E – Everyone (6 and older)
E10+ – Everyone (10 and older)
T – Teens (13 and older)
M – Mature audiences (17 and older)
AO – Adults Only
RP – Ratings Pending

There are also other considerations besides the rating to take into account when deciding whether to purchase a video game for your child. Children Now, a research and action organization, offers these additional tips for helping you to choose the right video games for your child:

Know your child. Different children handle situations differently. Regardless of age, if your child becomes aggressive or unsettled after playing violent video games, don’t buy games with violence in them. Likewise, if your child likes playing games with characters that look like him/her, purchase games with characters that fit the bill.

Read more than the ratings. While the ESRB ratings can be helpful, they do not tell the whole story. Some features that you may consider violent or sexual may not be labeled as such by the ESRB. In addition, the ESRB does not rate games for the positive inclusion of females. The language on the packaging may give you a better idea of the amount and significance of violence and sexuality and the presence of gender and racial diversity or stereotypes in the game.
Go online. The ESRB website provides game ratings as well as definitions of the rating system. In addition, you can visit game maker and distributor websites to learn more about the contents of a game. Some have reviews that will provide even more information about the game.
Rent before you buy. Many video rental stores also rent video games and consoles. Take a trial run before you purchase a game.

Talk to other parents. Find out which games other parents like and dislike, as well as which games they let your child play when he/she visits their house. This is a good way to learn about the games that your child enjoys and those that other parents approve of, and to let other parents know which games you do not want your child playing.

Play the games with your child. Know what your child is being exposed to and how he/she reacts to different features in the games.

Talk about what you see. If your child discovers material that he/she finds disturbing or that you find inappropriate, talk about it. This is a great opportunity to let your child know what your values are as well as to help him/her deal with images that may be troubling.

Set limits. If you are worried that your child spends too much time playing video games, limit the amount of time or specify the times of day that video games can be played.

Put the games in a public space. Just as with the Internet, keep your game consoles and computers in public family space so that you can be aware of the material your child is viewing.
Contact the game makers. If you find material that you think is offensive or inappropriate, let the people who make and sell the games know about it. Likewise, let game makers know if you think that a game provides healthy messages or images. They do care what you think!

References
Children Now
Entertainment Software Association
Entertainment Software Rating Board
Federal Trade Commission
Iowa State University
National Institute on Media and the Family

Sue Scheff: Positive Parenting

Source: TeensHealth

Developing Your Child's Self Esteem

Healthy self-esteem is a child's armor against the challenges of the world. Kids who feel good about themselves seem to have an easier time handling conflicts and resisting negative pressures. They tend to smile more readily and enjoy life. These kids are realistic and generally optimistic.

In contrast, kids with low self-esteem can find challenges to be sources of major anxiety and frustration. Those who think poorly of themselves have a hard time finding solutions to problems. If given to self-critical thoughts such as "I'm no good" or "I can't do anything right," they may become passive, withdrawn, or depressed. Faced with a new challenge, their immediate response is "I can't."

Here's how you can play important role in promoting healthy self-esteem in your child.

What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings we have about ourselves, our "self-perceptions." How we define ourselves influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors and affects our emotional adjustment.

Patterns of self-esteem start very early in life. For example, a toddler who reaches a milestone experiences a sense of accomplishment that bolsters self-esteem. Learning to roll over after dozens of unsuccessful attempts teaches a baby a "can-do" attitude.

The concept of success following persistence starts early. As kids try, fail, try again, fail again, and then finally succeed, they develop ideas about their own capabilities. At the same time, they're creating a self-concept based on interactions with other people. This is why parental involvement is key to helping kids form accurate, healthy self-perceptions.

Self-esteem also can be defined as feelings of capability combined with feelings of being loved. A child who is happy with an achievement but does not feel loved may eventually experience low self-esteem. Likewise, a child who feels loved but is hesitant about his or her own abilities can also end up with low self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem comes when the right balance is reached.

Signs of Unhealthy and Healthy Self-Esteem
Self-esteem fluctuates as kids grow. It's frequently changed and fine-tuned, because it is affected by a child's experiences and new perceptions. So it helps to be aware of the signs of both healthy and unhealthy self-esteem.

Kids with low self-esteem may not want to try new things, and may frequently speak negatively about themselves: "I'm stupid," "I'll never learn how to do this," or "What's the point? Nobody cares about me anyway." They may exhibit a low tolerance for frustration, giving up easily or waiting for somebody else to take over. They tend to be overly critical of and easily disappointed in themselves. Kids with low self-esteem see temporary setbacks as permanent, intolerable conditions, and a sense of pessimism predominates.

Kids with healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy interacting with others. They're comfortable in social settings and enjoys group activities as well as independent pursuits. When challenges arise, they can work toward finding solutions and voice discontent without belittling themselves or others. For example, rather than saying, "I'm an idiot," a child with healthy self-esteem says, "I don't understand this." They know their strengths and weaknesses, and accept them. A sense of optimism prevails.

How Parents Can Help
How can a parent help to foster healthy self-esteem in a child? These tips can make a big difference:

Watch what you say. Kids are very sensitive to parents' words. Remember to praise your child not only for a job well done, but also for effort. But be truthful. For example, if your child doesn't make the soccer team, avoid saying something like, "Well, next time you'll work harder and make it." Instead, try "Well, you didn't make the team, but I'm really proud of the effort you put into it." Reward effort and completion instead of outcome.
Be a positive role model. If you're excessively harsh on yourself, pessimistic, or unrealistic about your abilities and limitations, your child may eventually mirror you. Nurture your own self-esteem, and your child will have a great role model.
Identify and redirect your child's inaccurate beliefs. It's important for parents to identify kids' irrational beliefs about themselves, whether they're about perfection, attractiveness, ability, or anything else. Helping kids set more accurate standards and be more realistic in evaluating themselves will help them have a healthy self-concept. Inaccurate perceptions of self can take root and become reality to kids. For example, a child who does very well in school but struggles with math may say, "I can't do math. I'm a bad student." Not only is this a false generalization, it's also a belief that will set the child up for failure. Encourage kids to see a situation in its true light. A helpful response might be: "You are a good student. You do great in school. Math is just a subject that you need to spend more time on. We'll work on it together."
Be spontaneous and affectionate. Your love will go a long way to boost your child's self-esteem. Give hugs and tell kids you're proud of them. Pop a note in your child's lunchbox that reads, "I think you're terrific!" Give praise frequently and honestly, without overdoing it. Kids can tell whether something comes from the heart.
Give positive, accurate feedback. Comments like "You always work yourself up into such a frenzy!" will make kids feel like they have no control over their outbursts. A better statement is, "You were really mad at your brother. But I appreciate that you didn't yell at him or hit him." This acknowledges a child's feelings, rewards the choice made, and encourages the child to make the right choice again next time.
Create a safe, loving home environment. Kids who don't feel safe or are abused at home will suffer immensely from low self-esteem. A child who is exposed to parents who fight and argue repeatedly may become depressed and withdrawn. Also watch for signs of abuse by others, problems in school, trouble with peers, and other factors that may affect kids' self-esteem. Deal with these issues sensitively but swiftly. And always remember to respect your kids.
Help kids become involved in constructive experiences. Activities that encourage cooperation rather than competition are especially helpful in fostering self-esteem. For example, mentoring programs in which an older child helps a younger one learn to read can do wonders for both kids.
Finding Professional Help
If you suspect your child has low self-esteem, consider professional help. Family and child counselors can work to uncover underlying issues that prevent a child from feeling good about himself or herself.

Therapy can help kids learn to view themselves and the world positively. When kids see themselves in a more realistic light, they can accept who they truly are.

With a little help, every child can develop healthy self-esteem for a happier, more fulfilling life.

Sue Scheff: Inhalant Abuse

About a year ago, a mother emailed me about her son’s tragic death - it wasn’t your typical drug overdose, it was normal household items that teens/kids are now using as a high. Inhalant Abuse is not discussed enough, and needs to be. These items are much easier for teens to find and a lot less expensive. A cheap high? It is awful to even have to think like this, but parents needs to be aware and take pre-cautions. As always, communication with our teens is number #1 - and I recommend you visit www.inhalant.org for more valuable information about this potentially deadly habit.

Source: Connect with Kids

“They didn’t want to believe that I had a problem … their little girl, you know?”
– Kelli Crockett, 18 years old

Five years ago, 18-year-old Kelli Crockett was already drinking and smoking pot, but she wanted a different “high.”

“And I remember in middle school, actually a drug awareness program hearing about the inhalants, like the household products, you know, and I was like, ‘I know we’ve got something around the house,’ and I really wanted to get messed up,” Kelli says.

Air freshener, glue, paint thinner, furniture polish, hair spray: The government estimates over 17 percent of adolescents have tried inhalants at least once.

Certified Addiction Counselor Ashley Kilpatrick explains: “It’s accessible, I mean, that’s what the problem with inhalants is that they’re just so easy, they’re under the kitchen sink.”
Inhalants cut off oxygen to the brain, and that makes them extremely dangerous. Huffing just once can kill.

“It just feels toxic … you’re high for five minutes and then you feel sick,” Kilpatrick says.
Kelli adds, “I hated the way it made me feel, but … when I didn’t have anything else to use or drink or smoke, I did it cause it was around.”

Experts say a child who’s high on inhalants may seem drunk or disoriented. Parents should also look for signs around the house, like aerosol cans that are out of pressure or punctured on the bottom. There’s also a hangover effect.

“Headaches afterwards, dehydration, you know, bad moods, all that can last up to 24 hours after a use,” Kilpatrick says.

But experts say parents won’t see the signs if they’re in denial.

Kelli says it took an overdose that nearly killed her for her parents to notice. “They didn’t want to believe that I had a problem … their little girl, you know?” she says.

Tips for Parents

Nail polish remover, paint thinner, canned whipping cream, marking pens: Each of these common household items – and literally hundreds more – can be abused by inhaling. Inhalants are volatile substances that produce chemical vapors that induce a psychoactive, or mind-altering, effect when inhaled. Kids sniff, or “huff,” to get high.

According to the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug information (NCADI), sniffing can cause sickness and death. Victims may become nauseated, forgetful and unable to see things clearly. They may lose control of their bodies, including the use of arms and legs. The effects can last 15 to 45 minutes after inhaling. In addition, sniffing can severely damage the brain, heart, liver and kidneys. Even worse, victims can die suddenly – without any warning. It’s called “Sudden Sniffing Death,” which can occur during or right after sniffing. Even first-time abusers have been known to die from breathing inhalants.

More than 1,000 products are potential inhalants that can kill, including:

Cleaning agents
Computer agents
Correction fluid
Deodorizers
Freon
Gases (whippets, butane, propane)
Gasoline
Glue
Hair spray
Lighter fluid
Markers
Paint products
How can you tell if your child may be abusing inhalants? The NCADI lists the following symptoms to look for in your child:
Unusual breath odor or chemical odor on clothing
Slurred or disoriented speech
Drunk, dazed or dizzy appearance
Signs of paint or other products where they wouldn’t normally be, such as on the face or fingers
Red or runny eyes or nose.
Spots and/or sores around the mouth
Nausea and/or loss of appetite
Appears anxious, excitable, irritable or restlessness (chronic inhalers)
Inhalant abusers also may show the following behaviors:
Sits with a pen or marker near nose
Constantly smells clothing sleeves
Shows paint or stain marks on the face, fingers or clothing
Hides rags, clothes or empty containers of the potentially abused products in closets and other places

If you suspect your child or someone you know is an inhalant abuser, you should consider seeking professional help. Contact a local drug rehabilitation center or other service available in your community.

References
National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information
National Institute on Drug Abuse

Sue Scheff: Arguing with Teenagers: Don’t Take the Bait

I absolutely love this website for all parents and guardians raising kids. Not to mention educators that work with kids. This article is particularly interesting since I was a parent that took that bait! Oh, hindsight is great!

Source: PowerMomsUnite

It’s a popular phrase in my house: “Don’t take the bait.” We have variances on it including “don’t be a fish,” “some one is fishing,” and the most popular “looks like you’re going to land a big one.” With 5 kids in the house, several of who are close in age, they joke, tease, and well, see who can get a rise out of whom. A product of an only child family, I was deeply disturbed by this behavior when they were younger. I lecturing about home being a sanctuary and that no one was to be teased ever! I have come to accept that as a family with ADHD, and maybe every family has this to some degree- boredom breeds a little teasing/ poking/ fishing. The nature of the teasing has changed- due to my insistence that relationships be nurtured and that personal attacks are harmful- its rarely name calling or about a person’s attributes or personality- because that gets you in a time out and period of service for the offended- but rather the teasing is simply irksome prankish behavior designed to get your goat- like slowly delivering a fork to a sibling, as they wait at the table staring at a warm brownie covered in melting ice cream or getting in the bathroom before a sibling and then taking their time to brush their teeth as the time to leave for the bus approaches. I think every family with more than 1 child has something going on like this….

What I had not expected is to forget to take my own advice. Yesterday, my 13-year-old landed a big one- his mother. Amid a discussion about how he chose to react to sibling’s behavior, my 13-year-old erupted with the statement, “ Mom you always pick favorites- I know he is your favorite.” Before I knew it, I was defending my response to the sibling; instead of addressing the 13-year-old’s behavior. I became so angry that I walked away before I said something I did not mean. (While that is important to do when you feel out of control- it also ended the engagement.) It was masterful- he had managed to completely derail me, and escape reflection on his own behavior….

I had forgotten my golden rule of managing teenagers, prepare for being baited or having your buttons pushed. Don’t take the bait, always have your unemotional response ready to keep the conversation on track. On one of my better days I would have said, “ I am sorry you see it that way, you need to apologize to your brother for your part of the disagreement.” I would have repeated that statement regardless of what he said in response. Teenagers, and well any child will find your weak spot and exploit it, when they feel pinned into a corner. As parents it is our job to control our responses and be ready, even when we are not at our best.

After I cooled off, I circled back with my cool, “ I love you. You need to apologize to your brother for your part in the disagreement.” He stomped his feet and slammed a door- but he apologized to his brother and even added “what can we do to fix this between us- “ It ended in laughter between both brothers and as the 13 year old and I processed our disagreement later, we laughed at the big one he had landed.

Visit www.powermomunite.com for more information and leave comments! Do you have helpful tips? Take a moment to share with others.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Helping Parents with At Risk Teens

Are you a parent struggling with a teen today? Are you at your wit's end? Troubled by the defiance and negative behavior your teen is displaying? Lack respect for authority - for YOU -the parent?Know you are not alone!

Almost a decade ago I went the very same feelings of isolation, hostage to my own home and watching my good teen turn into a person I hardly recognized!Read the online story of A Parent's True Story.

I created P.U.R.E. (Parents' Universal Resource Experts, Inc.) in hopes of helping other parents learn from my mistakes and gain from my knowledge.

I was almost silenced when the massive organization (WWASPS/Carolina Springs Academy) sued me - but I fought back and the truth prevailed. I won all legal actions!When they lost on all counts including in the Supreme Court (I had a jury trial victory) my next hurdle was defeating the negative Internet Slander and Defamation.You see, when you can't defeat someone legally - the Internet has become the next legal lethal weapon.

Again, I fought back - only this time I won an unprecedented jury verdict of damages for over $11M!So, when you see ugly postings about me - twisted truths and outright lies, understand I will always have critics that don't agree with me as well as those that want to silence me or discredit me, but I continued to fight back and continued to be victorious on all counts.

Read Wit's End and look for my new book coming out in the fall of 2009 which will focus on this new legal lethal weapon.

Sue Scheff: Parents Helping Parents

As with my organization, Parents’ Universal Resource Experts, I created it to help other parents that are struggling with today’s teens. After going through a difficult time with my own teenage daughter, I made some major mistakes, however I wanted others to learn from my mistakes: more important - gain from my knowledge. I firmly believe that parents helping parents and parents learning from other parents firsthand - can be priceless!

Rhonda Spellman is a proud mother of a beautiful son - who happens to have autism. She has made it her mission in life to share with other parents and expanded her information into wonderful children’s books.

Here are some of her parenting tips and please take a moment to visit her website.

Quick tips: 9 Keys of Parenting

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome benefit from an environment that helps to build upon their strengths and builds their confidence and self esteem. What interests them? Help them to gain greater knowledge about their areas of abilities and interest. This helps to build their confidence.

To help them develop their social skills it is a good idea to talk with them frequently, inquiring how they feel about certain situations. Vary their exposure to a wide range of experiences. Observe their reaction to each and talk about their feelings.

Was the trip at the park better than the trip to the mountains? Why? What made one better or worse than the other? Try to avoid large crowds, too much noise and too many sensory impulses at one time. People with Asperger’s Syndrome are simply unable to assimilate too many variables at one time and you are setting them up for a ‘meltdown.’

It helps a person with Asperger’s Syndrome to broaden their interests and topics of conversation. Try introducing something new and different, in small steps and in small time slots. For example, visit a new location that offers a perspective that may enhance an ability they already possess. Go to a new planetarium if astronomy is “their thing.” Different settings can help them to learn what is and what isn’t socially appropriate.

Keep in mind that it is a critical element to ensure that they are in a safe, supportive, and strength-based group setting. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome unfortunately tend to act out inappropriately and become targets for bullies.

Because children with Asperger’s Syndrome are already fearful or otherwise resistant to socially interact with others it is paramount to begin working on their social skills as early as possible. They already have difficulty communicating with others and are often excluded in their schools by their peers because they appear “different” or “weird.” Involving them in small group settings in a familiar environment not only exposes them to “accepted” behaviors but it also gives them a feeling of acceptance among their peers.

*At my house we often have as many as 11 extra neighborhood children playing in the backyard with my two boys. My almost eight-year-old son has Asperger’s Syndrome. My just turned six-year-old son does not. They both are involved with the play at times. Sometimes my older son is an observer… and that’s okay. Sometimes he prefers to just play in the sandbox or paint with sidewalk chalk. *He gets the chalk wet and “paints” wonderful pictures.

I make popsicles by the dozen and the children take turns passing them out. I am firm on fairness and each knows the unwritten rule that no one is ever left out. Yes, the extra children can be exhausting… yes, the extra children can make a mess… yes, making the popsicles takes some time and it costs me a few extra dollars… Can I afford the extra time and effort? The way I see it: The interaction for my son is therapy I can’t afford NOT to do!

A child with Asperger’s self esteem is greatly enhanced when they are given opportunities to participate with and / or help others. Allowing them to pitch in and help with chores and to have responsibilities is a great start. Making sure that they are recognized and rewarded is the second step. Watching them grow into happy, stable and productive people is the always the goal.
I learn from my very different boys every day. I aim to teach them to love and accept those differences, in each other and in all others, every day.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Summer is Coming!

Camp Finders® is a free service which matches children ages 6-18 with appropriate overnight summer camps and teen programs.

Since 1994, Camp Finders® has personally visited approximately 175 sleepaway camps and various teen programs. During this time period, Camp Finders™ has been placing children in overnight camps and in the following teen programs: teen tours; wilderness camps & outdoor adventure; college enrichment; community service; sailing, SCUBA, & marine biology programs; foreign language programs and more…

Overnight camps (all visited by Camp Finders) - these are generally on the East Coast of the USA, in states such as Pennsylvania, New York, Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Virginia, West Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina & Florida.
Camp Finders® has also visited sleepaway camps in other areas - N. Wisconsin & Colorado.
Teen programs - these are located all over the USA, as well as in Canada, Europe, Australia, Central America, the Caribbean & Virgin Islands, Israel & more…

For years CampFinders helped me find the most exciting, fun and educational camps for my son. Summer is just around the corner - find the camp that best fits your child’s interests! It can be a great learning experience - meeting kids from all over the country!

Like my organization, Rick Maddes, owner and founder of CampFinders, takes the time to visit camps and give parents firsthand information. Call today at 561-865-000031.

Sue Scheff: Helping Your Teens Study Skills

CRAMSTER.com has been helping parents with their children that are struggling with completing homework or needs help understanding and learning study skills. Take a moment to review their free offer that can help you help your teen.

Source: Cramster.com

Cramster.com is a free and effective alternative to tutoring. With experts and knowledgeable community members available 24/7, we leverage the popularity of online social networks to boost your child’s understanding and grades. And don’t forget, you can brush up on your own knowledge anonymously as well. Sign up today.

HERE’S WHAT YOU GET (It takes less than 30 seconds to register for free )

Step-by-step textbook solutions

Sometimes answers in the back of the book just aren’t enough. Read our step-by-step solutions to actually understand how to solve the problems. And, unlike a solution manual, if you don’t understand the demonstrated steps, you can ask our community for clarification.
Expert help at any time, day or night.

Ask or answer questions on the Cramster Q&A Board to understand difficult problems and stop getting stuck at the same place. The Q&A Board is moderated by experts and, unlike teachers, you can ask them questions at night, too.

Proven results

Our exit surveys continually prove the worth of Cramster.com’s resources. 91 percent of members said Cramster helped them keep the grade they desired, while 60 percent said using Cramster improved their grade above what they had expected.

A safe, confidence-building online experience

With the ability to remain anonymous, students no longer have to worry about asking “dumb” questions or seeking too much help. As a parent, you can learn anonymously and at your own pace as well. Additionally, our team of moderators works around the clock to ensure the safety of all members. As a McAfee and VeriSign secured site, your child’s personal information is completely safe with us.

Sign Up Your Child for a Free Cramster.com Membership(Or sign up yourself!)

Sue Scheff: Teen Runaways

One of any parent’s greatest fears is a missing child.

Each year, one million troubled teens from every social class, race and religion run away from home. Unfortunately, for American families, that number continues to rise.

Confused, pressured and highly impressionable teens follow their peers into bad choices. In most cases, runaway teenagers want to escape the rules and regulations of their family and household. Disagreements with parents leave them unhappy and frustrated to the point of rebellion. Naiveté leads them to believe they could survive outside the nest; and dreams of a life without parental guidance, rules and punishment seem ideal.

The dangers of a runaway lifestyle are obvious. Afraid and desperate, teens on the street are easy targets for robbery, rape, prostitution, drug addiction and violent crime. While the official Runaway Hotline cites nine out of ten teens return home or are returned home by the police within a month, any amount of time on the street can change a child forever. Protecting our children from a potential runaway situation is incredibly important; the problem is serious, and the effects are severe.

My name is Sue Scheff™, and through my organization, Parents Universal Resource Experts, I am working to keep America’s teens safe. A troubled teenager is a difficult and uphill battle, but you are not alone! As parents, we must work together to educate and support each other through the crisis. The best resource is that of someone who has been there; and at P.U.R.E.™, parents can find the information and support of so many dealing with the same situations.
Are you worried that your troubled teen will run away from home? We have compiled some of the most helpful resources on teenage runaways.

Looking for support or professional help? Visit our website, Help Your Teens. You are not alone!
Pick up my new book - Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-of-Control Teen.

Sue Scheff - Drug Prevention and Kids Today

D.A.R.E. - Drug Abuse Resistance Education has been known for many years and has helped been part of many schools in helping children learn the dangers of drug abuse. As a parent, take some time to review their newly updated information and website. It is important that parents and educators work together to help prevent drug use.

Source: D.A.R.E. Official Website

This year millions of school children around the world will benefit from D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education), the highly acclaimed program that gives kids the skills they need to avoid involvement in drugs, gangs, and violence.

D.A.R.E. was founded in 1983 in Los Angeles and has proven so successful that it is now being implemented in 75 percent of our nation’s school districts and in more than 43 countries around the world.

D.A.R.E. is a police officer-led series of classroom lessons that teaches children from kindergarten through 12th grade how to resist peer pressure and live productive drug and violence-free lives.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Raising Teens Together

Is your teen pushing your buttons?
Not sure how to handle it?

We're here to help you make the most of your relationship, stay ahead of the game and find common ground with your teenager. Shoulder to Shoulder is dedicated to making your job easier by connecting parents and caregivers and sharing the insights of those who have been there before. From written resources and a Blog for parents of teens to relevant research and parenting tips, we hope you find our resources useful as you navigate the teen years with your child.

Sue Scheff - Teens Skipping School

As second semester is open, the phones are ringing and the parents have a common thread, their teens are not going to school! Skipping classes and already talking about dropping out.

Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate “excused” absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term and their particular usage thereof in the school’s handbook of policies and procedures. In many instances truancy is the term referring to an absence associated with the most brazen student irresponsibility and results in the greatest consequences.

Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student’s education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent’s self-esteem.

Read the causes here.

Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens Inhalant Abuse

As the new year has started, parents need to become more educated and informed about today's teens and the issues they face.

Many parents know about substance abuse, and teach our kids to say no to drugs - but do you know about Inhalants? Ordinary household items that can be lethal to teens looking for a quick and inexpensive high? More importantly, sometimes deadly high.

Parent learn more about Inhalant Abuse.

Here is a great "talking tips" page from The Alliance for Consumer Education (ACE) - take the time to learn more today. You could save a child's life.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - More Kids Value Giving

Source : Connect withKids

“You don’t get paid, but see that’s not the issue really, the issue is just helping out and you have fun while you do it.”

– Vishnu Kuttappan, 16 years old

For years, Vishnu wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a doctor. But after volunteering at a hospital, he’s not so sure. “It’s kind of a battle,” Vishnu says, “between me, you know, sticking to medicine—and I like medicine a lot—or trying something new.”

Vishnu is part of a new trend among teens who volunteer in order not only to help their community, but also to choose a career.

“If you want to go into medicine,” Vishnu says, “you know, you can learn facts all you want, but until you’re in a hospital, you won’t really experience what it’s like.”

Teens say volunteering also teaches them respect and compassion for others.

“You don’t get paid, but see that’s not the issue really, the issue is just helping out and you have fun while you do it.”

Vishnu’s father, Dr. Muthu Kuttappan says, “I think that’s a very encouraging step and I hope other students follow, get a first hand knowledge of what is the real world.”

Experts add that when teens volunteer they are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and are more apt to do well in school.

Hospital Volunteer Coordinator Susan Esslinger says, “Hopefully when they’re 40, 50, 60, 70 years old, they’ll still have that sense of volunteerism in giving back to the community, whether it’s at a hospital or a soup kitchen or whatever the place may be.”

Tips for Parents
While many adults are convinced of a decline in the values and morals of today’s young people, recent surveys show that many teens are giving of their time to work for causes they believe in and to help those that are less fortunate. Teens find volunteer opportunities through religious organizations, school-based programs and community agencies.

There are several reasons why teens choose to volunteer:

Compassion for people in need
Feeling they can do something for a cause in which they believe
A belief that if they help others, others will help them
In addition, some teens volunteer their time in occupational fields in which they are interested. In addition to being helpful, they are able to use their experiences in deciding on future career choices.

Teens reported benefiting from their volunteer experiences in many ways, including:

Learning to respect others
Learning to be helpful and kind
Learning to understand people who are different from them
Developing leadership skills
Becoming more patient
Gaining a better understanding of good citizenship
Exploring or learning about career options
Developing new career goals
Children learn from their parents. The survey showed teens that reported having positive role models were nearly twice as likely to volunteer as those who did not. Encourage your child to volunteer by setting an example.

Youth Service America provides additional ways to increase teen volunteerism:

Ask them to volunteer.
Encourage youth to get involved at an early age. Volunteering when young creates lifelong adult volunteers.
Encourage children and young adults to participate in community groups, faith-based organizations, student government, and school projects.
Encourage a positive self-image so that young people are able to help others and contribute to their communities.
Be a mentor in your community.
Provide young people with opportunities to take courses that include and even require community service.
References
The Higher Education Research Institute
The Independent Sector
Youth Service America

Sue Scheff - Teen Obesity

Learn more about keeping your kids in good health. Especially with more and more kids sitting behind their computer screens we need to encourage more activities!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRSGUZrOU_w


Here is a recent News Article

Seven ways to help your overweight teen

On paper, the statistics are shocking enough: the obesity rate for teens has tripled over the past 25 years and with this increase an average weight, type 2 diabetes, once unknown in young people, is now diagnosed in 45 percent of all new cases involving children or teens. Medical experts fear that high blood pressure and heart disease could become increasingly prevalent among young adults, making this generation of teens the first to have potentially poorer health and shorter life spans than their parents.



Seeing a young person you love struggle with overweight or obesity in the sensitive pre-teen or teen years is painful, frustrating and alarming — from watching them deal with cruel remarks to seeing them on the sidelines in sports or social events or knowing that they face significant health risks even in young adulthood. Maybe you’ve nagged or dropped hints or taken your child for medical help or sent him or her to weight loss camps — all to no avail.



Doctor Kathy McCoy, author of “The Teenage Body Book,” explains how you can help your teen lose weight and feel better!



• Put the emphasis on good health, not weight, and make it a goal for the whole family. Teens hate being singled out and criticized. Approaching this from a “YOU need to lose weight!” point of view will guarantee a battle of the wills. Instead, ask for your teen’s help in making an action plan to promote better family eating and exercise habits.



• Have real family meals at least once a day and encourage your teen to eat what the family eats. Frantic family schedules have equaled fast food or processed, prepared food dinners — and expanding waistlines. With real, home-cooked meals, you can better control calories, fats, sugars, sodium and other nutritional issues.



• Look at and discuss all of your less than ideal eating behaviors. Maybe your teen craves junk food when she’s bored and watching TV. Maybe you dive into high calorie comfort food when you’re angry or frustrated. Pay attention to the difference between physical and emotional hunger. Discuss all this with your family — and come up with ways to comfort or reward yourselves that have nothing to do with food.



• Make it convenient for everyone in the family to eat breakfast. Advance planning can help: fresh fruit and yogurt in the fridge, whole grain bread and cereals in the pantry, and encouraging all to get up and get going early enough in the morning to grab a bite. Those who don’t eat breakfast tend to overeat during the rest of the day, especially in the evening



• Get your family moving. Trying to motivate an overweight teen to go to the gym can be frustrating and non-productive. Schedule exercise into your family routine: a family walk or bike ride after dinner doesn’t have to cut into homework or leisure time too dramatically — and the exercise is good for everyone.



• Become smart, skeptical consumers: There are no weight loss miracles. Help your teen to avoid quick fixes. The weight didn’t come on overnight and it can’t be lost — for good — overnight either. The goal should be health improvement with a slow, steady weight loss of no more than two pounds a week. The loss can add up to more than 100 pounds in a year — and weight lost slowly as one changes one’s eating and exercise habits is more likely to stay off.



• Make a vow — together — to enjoy a full and healthy life now. You don’t have to wait until you or your teen is slim to do this. With good health as your top family priority, you can feel better starting today. Good nutrition, regular exercise and the feeling that “we’re all in this together” can make a positive difference for everyone in your family.



Award-winning writer and author of “The Teenage Body Book,” Dr. Kathy McCoy is a teen psychology and health expert who has appeared as a guest on such programs as The Today Show and The Oprah Winfrey Show. Winner of the American Library Associations’ Best Book for Young Adults Award, “The Teenage Body Book” contains everything teenagers and their parents need to know about nutrition, health, fitness, emotions and sexuality.

Sue Scheff: Parent Training

Source: Connect with Kids

Fighting, stealing, lying, cruelty- some psychologists call all of this a “conduct disorder” and according to the American Academy of Adolescent Psychiatry, one in 10 teen girls suffers from the disorder. What’s more, some experts say many of these girls share one thing in common: parents who resist being a parent.

“If we can help parents do a better job at parenting, then you’ll see less and less of children acting out because … acting out is really a symptom usually of what’s happening in the home.”
-- Alesia Brooks, area director for Community Solutions, Inc.

One approach to treating violent teens is gaining popularity across the country. It’s called multi-systemic therapy. The goal is to change the teen – by starting with the parent.

Last year, during a fight with her older sister, 16-year-old Angela pulled a knife. Angela says, “I wasn’t going to hurt her or nothing. I guess I was just threatening her with it.”

Angela was arrested and a judge recommended multi-systemic therapy. A therapist came to the house for five months. But instead of counseling Angela, he focused on her mom.

“Mom had no rules, so Angela didn’t know left from right, right from wrong,” says Alesia Brooks, an area director of home-based services for Community Solutions, Inc., a licensed provider of multi-systemic therapy. “She just did whatever she wanted to do. And if there was a conflict, then the conflict was managed through yelling and screaming.”

First, the counselor helped Angela’s mom Cecilia write a list of rules. Cecilia says, “Well, it was kind of, I had to get used to it myself, to enforcing the rules. And I noticed [having] the rules was much better.”

“If we can help parents do a better job at parenting,” says Brooks, “then you’ll see less and less of children acting out because the children acting out is really a symptom, usually of what’s happening in the home.”

“I was just kind of used to arguing,” adds Angela, “like kind of like how a child would throw a tantrum and get what they want. That’s kind of like how I was doing it when I was 13, 14, 15. And then when [the therapist] came in, he kind of made it that I couldn’t do it no more!”

The idea? Change the parent – and you will change the child.

Brooks says, “We don’t want to be the agent for change because we’re gone, we are not going to be there for the lifetime, the parent will be.”

Cecilia says the therapist helped her listen more, and yell less. “He taught me to communicate, calm down. We talk and try to solve the problem.”

Tips for Parents
When parents run into problems with a cranky toddler or a difficult teen, they now have a new place to turn for help – a parent coach. According to the Parent Coaching Institute, these individuals are trained with a broad background of education and experiences. Making themselves available by phone, they ask key questions, provide information and offer specific suggestions to help parents address challenges and develop new strategies for dealing with problems at home.

How do you know if parenting coaching is right for your family? Heritage Communications, which offers support and coaching services to families, cites the following types of parents who could benefit from hiring a parent coach:


Parents of older adopted children
Parents of challenging children
Parents dealing with adoption adjustment issues
Parents of children with RAD (reactive attachment disorder)
Parents looking for new parenting techniques to use with their children
Parents who don’t have a support system that truly understands the issues
Parents feeling overwhelmed

Parents taking their children to therapy but in need of parent support
Power struggles with teens are not uncommon. Whether or not you have a parent coach for support, as a parent, it is your responsibility to diffuse the situation in a calm manner. Jane Nelson, author of Positive Discipline, offers parents the following advice for reducing power struggles within the home:

After realizing you may be actually promoting the power struggles with your teen, you can decide to not fight and to not give in. Disengage from the fight and try to remain emotionally cool and calm. Without anger, the power struggle will diminish because your teen will have no one to fight against.

Give up the concept that you can make your teen do anything. Instead, inspire, teach, influence, lead, guide, motivate, stimulate and encourage your teen to positive, cooperative behavior. Catch him or her being good!
When disengaging, you need to act, not speak. For example, a temper tantrum becomes ineffective and silly if you withdraw to the other room – with slamming of doors.

Later, during a cooled-down period, you can talk about what you want from your teen. You can say, in a loving, accepting tone, “Son, after school, would you prefer to do your homework in the office or at the kitchen table?” If your teen feels personal power through choices, then he or she does not feel the need for power through conflict.

References
Community Solutions, Inc.
Heritage Communications
Multisystemic Therapy Services
Parent Coaching Institute
Positive Discipline

Sue Scheff: PE4Life Parenting Teens Physical Education

Parents are busy with a full workday, helping their children with homework, engaging their children in after school activities, and so on. This doesn't leave a whole lot of time for physical activity in your own lives. Do you realize that schools have devalued and cut physical education to the point that the majority of children get one day of PE per week? Children today have a shorter life expectancy than their parents for the first time in one hundred years because of the epidemic of obesity, according to Dr. William Klish, Professor of Pediatrics and Head of Pediatric Gastroenterology at Baylor College of Medicine. Lack of PE at school is a disservice to your child's health. Speak up. Demand that your school offers daily quality physical education. Use PE4life as a resource partner to enhance your school's PE program. A recent study revealed that 81% of teachers and 85% of parents favor requiring students to take physical education every day at every grade level. As parents, you can rally people in your community to get involved by ordering a PE4life Community Action kit video and show it to the PTA, the school board and other community groups. The next step is to invite PE4life to make a presentation to your school leaders, bring a team of people to train at a PE4life Academy, or invite PE4life to do an in-service for your school staff. As your resource partner, PE4life can provide these and many other services to your school as you work to get children more active and healthy.

http://www.pe4life.org/

Sue Scheff: Teen Internet Addiction

Introduction

In today's society, the Internet has made its way into almost every American home. It is a well-known fact that the web is a valuable asset for research and learning. Unfortunately, it can also be a very dangerous place for teens. With social networking sites like Myspace and Friendster, chat rooms, instant messaging, and online role-playing video games, our children are at access to almost anyone. Sue Scheff, along with Parent's Universal Resource Experts™, is tackling the dangers of the web.

Keeping tabs on our teens' online habits doesn't just keep them safe from online predators. More and more parents are becoming wary of the excessive hours their teens spend surfing the web, withdrawing from family, friends and activities they used to enjoy. Internet Addiction is a devastating problem facing far too many teens and their families. While medical professionals have done limited research on the topic, more and more are recognizing this destructive behavior and even more, the potential mental effects it can have.

Though the web is a great place for learning and can be safe for keeping in touch, it is important that families understand the potential risks and dangers to find a healthy balance between real and virtual life.

Click here and learn more.

Sue Scheff - Connect with Kids - Parenting DVD's

At Connect with Kids, our single aim is to help parents and educators help children. Each week we gather the freshest information from experts at universities, research organizations, hospitals, child advocacy groups and parents and kids themselves. We present that information in video news and feature stories that are understandable, compelling and useful.