For all parents and others that work with today’s teens and tweens - OnTeensToday is a fantastic way to find out what our kids are thinking today! Vanessa Van Petten is not only an author, she shares her own teen experiences to help us today. Visit www.onteenstoday.com for so much more!
From OnTeensToday:
I have noticed that there is a huge spectrum of teens online. There are literally thousands of articles that have been written in the past four years about teens online (I have written some of them!) but they refer to teens online all the same. This is simply not true, there are many different kinds of ‘users.’
Teen Internet User 1: Centers
These are the heaviest users. They live and breathe online. They sneak internet in the middle of the night and are on every social network imaginable. They also want all the latest trends and new gadgets. Taking away their phones or computers is the worse possible punishment. They are the ultimate techies and love to write their own Java and HTML.
Teen Internet User 2: Networkers
These users do not visit anything but the social networks. They do not care to discover new sites or learn programming. All they want to do is chat, share and network with friends. They are the first to discover any changes on MySpace and have started 36+ groups on Facebook.
Teen Internet User 3: Communicator
These teens do visit social networking sites occasionally but only as a means of communicating. They live on IM. Video chat, IM and emails are where they spend the most time.
Teen Internet User 4: Seeker
These teens tend not to be as social and like to discover online. Unlike the Centers, when they discover something new they do not spread it around to all of their friends (maybe a select few), but they like to find new websites and participate in more of the underground internet. They are the tech insulars and only want websites that are grassroots and authentic.
Teen Internet User 5: Listener
Some teens seem to use the Internet exclusively to find, follow and research music and new bands. They are usually addicted to MySpace and cruise the web with their earphones in.
Teen Internet User 6: Schooler
These teens have little interest in the Internet besides what is necessary for school. If they chat it is not much, their friend set-up their Facebook profile for them and they are not overly impressed with anything online except maybe the occasional YouTube video.
Teen Internet User 7: Gamer
Gamers, quite obviously are avid Internet players. They play World of Warcraft until 3am (or they would if you would let them) love games on miniclip.com and addictinggames.com. They asked for a joystick for Christmas.
Teen Internet User 8: Watcher
Some teens love to watch webisodes, YouTube surf or TV shows online. They get all of their entertainment through your broadband cable and often reject traditional TV.
Teen Internet User 9: Expresser
These teens keep online diaries, write poetry for ezines and might even have their own blog. They love posting comments on other blogs and writing articles to submit for larger online publications. The Internet is their voice.
Teen Internet User 10: Informer
These teens use the Internet to stay current. They read newspapers, comment in political forums and have impressive RSS feeds of lots of online resources.
Yes, teens can be a combination of a few of these, or dabble in a little bit of gaming but are really Networkers (or they game to network via World of Warcraft chatting.) What kind of teen do you have?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Sue Scheff: Pitfalls of Popularity
Source: Connect with Kids
"Part of fitting in and part of being popular is that teenagers who are popular tend to engage in a lot of behaviors that are valued by their peers. Some are good and some are not so good.”
– Marla Shapiro, licensed psychologist
“We didn’t get in until like, really late, so as soon as we got there we went right out,” 18-year-old Candler Reed says, filling her mom in on the details of her weekend.
Candler goes to a lot of parties; she has a lot of friends. For Candler Reed, being popular has its perks. “Having things to do on the weekends, having a very wide circle of friends,” she says.
But it also has its pitfalls. “My social life was first freshman through junior year, that was my first priority, even over my school work.”
She was less likely to do homework, and according to a recent study by the University of Virginia, popular teens, like Candler, are three times more likely to experiment with risky behaviors than their unpopular counterparts.
“Teenagers who are popular tend to engage in a lot of behaviors that are valued by their peers. Some are good and some are not so good,” explains Marla Shapiro, licensed psychologist.
For Candler it was drinking, something her mom was not happy with, “It was disappointing to find out that she was not always where she said she was or doing what she said she was doing.”
Experts say, with popular teens especially, this can be surprising for parents. “We think that oh, our kids are popular, they’re well liked, they get along well with us, they’re doing well, we can relax, these are what you call good kids, and I think the message for parents would be- you can’t ever let your guard down,” explains Shapiro.
Setting a strict curfew, knowing her friends, keeping in constant touch are just a few of the things that worked well for Candler and her mom. “It’s definitely gotten better now, now that we’ve gotten more involved with her life,” explains her mom.
“It’s made me learn, I learned from my mistakes, the mistakes I have made probably trying to be cool and fit in,” says Candler.
Tips for Parents
Many people believe students who are popular set the trends and take the lead in regards to making decisions. However, popular students are just as susceptible to peer pressure as other students – and sometimes more so, because they don’t want to become unpopular or lose their status.
When students – popular or not – are pressured by others to do certain things or go certain places, it can be very stressful. Experts at the Do It Now Foundation suggest the following things to consider to ease the decision-making process:
Identify the problem
Describe possible solutions or alternatives
Evaluate the ideas
Act out a plan
Learn for the future (have reactions in place for certain scenarios)
Being a popular student can be a very enviable position, but for some students it can also be a burden. The possibility of bad influences or advice is increased as more and more people surround an individual. Therefore, it is important for parents of popular children to encourage them to be responsible and develop good decision-making skills, particularly when it comes to comes to deciding what things are more important than others. Experts at Omaha Boys Town Pediatrics suggest the following tips for parents who are concerned with the friends surrounding their children and the influences they have may have on them:
Spend time together – Recent studies indicate that children who feel close to their parents are less likely to be negatively influenced by others.
Use opportunities to teach your children – Some of the time you spend with your children should be used to discuss problems and concerns they might face. These discussions give you an opportunity to offer advice and reinforce your family's morals and values.
Listen carefully to what your children say – Talk with them instead of at them.
Monitor what your children are doing – Keep track of them, watch over them and have them check in and report where they are, who they're with, and what they're doing.
References
Do It Now Foundation
Omaha Boys Town Pediatrics
University of Virginia
– Marla Shapiro, licensed psychologist
“We didn’t get in until like, really late, so as soon as we got there we went right out,” 18-year-old Candler Reed says, filling her mom in on the details of her weekend.
Candler goes to a lot of parties; she has a lot of friends. For Candler Reed, being popular has its perks. “Having things to do on the weekends, having a very wide circle of friends,” she says.
But it also has its pitfalls. “My social life was first freshman through junior year, that was my first priority, even over my school work.”
She was less likely to do homework, and according to a recent study by the University of Virginia, popular teens, like Candler, are three times more likely to experiment with risky behaviors than their unpopular counterparts.
“Teenagers who are popular tend to engage in a lot of behaviors that are valued by their peers. Some are good and some are not so good,” explains Marla Shapiro, licensed psychologist.
For Candler it was drinking, something her mom was not happy with, “It was disappointing to find out that she was not always where she said she was or doing what she said she was doing.”
Experts say, with popular teens especially, this can be surprising for parents. “We think that oh, our kids are popular, they’re well liked, they get along well with us, they’re doing well, we can relax, these are what you call good kids, and I think the message for parents would be- you can’t ever let your guard down,” explains Shapiro.
Setting a strict curfew, knowing her friends, keeping in constant touch are just a few of the things that worked well for Candler and her mom. “It’s definitely gotten better now, now that we’ve gotten more involved with her life,” explains her mom.
“It’s made me learn, I learned from my mistakes, the mistakes I have made probably trying to be cool and fit in,” says Candler.
Tips for Parents
Many people believe students who are popular set the trends and take the lead in regards to making decisions. However, popular students are just as susceptible to peer pressure as other students – and sometimes more so, because they don’t want to become unpopular or lose their status.
When students – popular or not – are pressured by others to do certain things or go certain places, it can be very stressful. Experts at the Do It Now Foundation suggest the following things to consider to ease the decision-making process:
Identify the problem
Describe possible solutions or alternatives
Evaluate the ideas
Act out a plan
Learn for the future (have reactions in place for certain scenarios)
Being a popular student can be a very enviable position, but for some students it can also be a burden. The possibility of bad influences or advice is increased as more and more people surround an individual. Therefore, it is important for parents of popular children to encourage them to be responsible and develop good decision-making skills, particularly when it comes to comes to deciding what things are more important than others. Experts at Omaha Boys Town Pediatrics suggest the following tips for parents who are concerned with the friends surrounding their children and the influences they have may have on them:
Spend time together – Recent studies indicate that children who feel close to their parents are less likely to be negatively influenced by others.
Use opportunities to teach your children – Some of the time you spend with your children should be used to discuss problems and concerns they might face. These discussions give you an opportunity to offer advice and reinforce your family's morals and values.
Listen carefully to what your children say – Talk with them instead of at them.
Monitor what your children are doing – Keep track of them, watch over them and have them check in and report where they are, who they're with, and what they're doing.
References
Do It Now Foundation
Omaha Boys Town Pediatrics
University of Virginia
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teens and Steroids
Don’t Be An Asterisk. Whether it is a potential college scholarship or just helping the team win, some teens feel pressure to do whatever it takes to get an “edge”, even if it means taking steroids or other illegal substances.Hopefully the striking video and information available on the official website (link below) will educate teens and their families about performance enhancing drugs.
Check out the 30 second PSA video here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ-DaJvBKuc
For more information on the campaign visit:http://www.dontbeanasterisk.com/
I just received this educational information for parents to be aware of - be sure to take a minute to visit this website and a minute to watch the video. Being an educated parents helps you to help your teen!
Check out the 30 second PSA video here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ-DaJvBKuc
For more information on the campaign visit:http://www.dontbeanasterisk.com/
I just received this educational information for parents to be aware of - be sure to take a minute to visit this website and a minute to watch the video. Being an educated parents helps you to help your teen!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Movie Smoking Makes Teens Smoke
Source: Connect with Kids
“That makes a lot of kids think about doing the same thing because these are their role models.”
– Arielle Jacobs, 13 years old
Will kids smoke just because they see an actor or actress in a movie light up? Sixteen-year-old Jay McManeon says, “no way.”
“For me, it doesn’t really matter if I saw someone smoking in the movie,” he says.
But other teens argue that smoking in movies does have an effect on teens.
“If they thought it was cool enough, like you if it was your idol, you might. If he smokes … you might want to do it,” 17-year-old Ryan Moses says.
A new report suggests he’s right.
After a review of more than 1,000 different studies, the National Cancer Institute finds that some kids start smoking because of what they see in the movies.
“Now what that is saying is even if you are doing a lot of things, like not smoking in your house and helping your kids stay away from other influences, the movies can overcome all of that influence,” says Dr. Terry Pechacek of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Experts say that’s why it’s important for parents to talk to kids about how movies may glamorize smoking and to explain that it’s not reality.
“Kids need resistance skills. They need to be able to interpret the media images,” Dr. Pechacek says.
The CDC produces three-minute video clips, hosted by teen actors, designed to do just that – show kids how actors use smoking in movies as a crutch.
“And there are even people who believe high rates of smoking in movies should be used as a criteria for parents saying, just like sex, just like violence … that I don’t think you should see this movie,” Dr. Pechacek says.
No matter what influences a child to start smoking, few would disagree that stopping is a whole lot harder.
Sixteen-year-old Jay McManeon could not agree more.
“I never think smoking’s an OK thing. It’s bad for your lungs. I just do it ‘cause I’m addicted,” he says.
Tips for Parents
A study published in The Lancet further illustrates how watching television or movies with actors who smoke negatively impacts youth behavior. Researchers from Dartmouth Medical School analyzed the viewing habits of 2,603 nonsmoking children aged 10 to 14, keeping track of how many incidents of smoking occurred in each movie they watched from a list of 50. After two years, they found that 10% of the children took up smoking or had at least tried it. Consider these additional findings from the study:
Of those children exposed to movies with the least amount of on-screen smoking, 22 began smoking.
Of those children exposed to movies with the highest occurrence of on-screen smoking, 107 became smokers.
Approximately 52% of the startup in smoking could be attributed to the movies.
Children of nonsmokers who watched movies with the highest number of smoking scenes were four times more likely to begin smoking than those who viewed movies featuring few smoking actors.
More than 6,000 children under the age of 18 try their first cigarette each day. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also reports that more than 3,000 become daily smokers every day. It’s estimated that 4.5 million adolescents in the United States are cigarette smokers. 90 percent of cigarette smokers start before they turn 21.
The statistics show that little progress has been made in the past decade in reducing teen smoking. The American Lung Association calls smoking a “tobacco-disease epidemic” and points to the high rates of cigarette use among high school seniors, particularly girls, as evidence of this lack of progress.
Health and medical experts agree that parents must discourage children from starting to smoke and becoming addicted. Parents should also talk to their children about the health risks of tobacco and set a good example for their children by not smoking themselves. School-based tobacco education programs have also been shown to be effective in reducing the onset of teen smoking.
According to research from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA), the key to keeping kids from smoking and using drugs is dependent on the extent to which parents take a “hands-on” approach to raising their kids. The more they establish appropriate rules and standards of behavior and monitor their teens, the lower the teen’s risk of substance abuse.
A “hands-on” approach to preventing your teen from smoking, drinking or trying drugs, according to CASA, includes consistently taking 10 or more of these 12 actions:
Monitor what your teen watches on television.
Monitor what your teen does on the Internet.
Put restrictions on the music (CDs) your teen buys.
Know where your teen spends time after school and on weekends.
Expect to be told the truth by your teen about where he or she is going.
Be “very aware” of your teen’s academic performance.
Impose a curfew.
Make clear you would be “extremely upset” if your teen smoked.
Eat dinner with your teens six or seven times a week.
Turn off the television during dinner.
Assign your teen regular chores.
Have an adult present when your teen returns from school.
– Arielle Jacobs, 13 years old
Will kids smoke just because they see an actor or actress in a movie light up? Sixteen-year-old Jay McManeon says, “no way.”
“For me, it doesn’t really matter if I saw someone smoking in the movie,” he says.
But other teens argue that smoking in movies does have an effect on teens.
“If they thought it was cool enough, like you if it was your idol, you might. If he smokes … you might want to do it,” 17-year-old Ryan Moses says.
A new report suggests he’s right.
After a review of more than 1,000 different studies, the National Cancer Institute finds that some kids start smoking because of what they see in the movies.
“Now what that is saying is even if you are doing a lot of things, like not smoking in your house and helping your kids stay away from other influences, the movies can overcome all of that influence,” says Dr. Terry Pechacek of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Experts say that’s why it’s important for parents to talk to kids about how movies may glamorize smoking and to explain that it’s not reality.
“Kids need resistance skills. They need to be able to interpret the media images,” Dr. Pechacek says.
The CDC produces three-minute video clips, hosted by teen actors, designed to do just that – show kids how actors use smoking in movies as a crutch.
“And there are even people who believe high rates of smoking in movies should be used as a criteria for parents saying, just like sex, just like violence … that I don’t think you should see this movie,” Dr. Pechacek says.
No matter what influences a child to start smoking, few would disagree that stopping is a whole lot harder.
Sixteen-year-old Jay McManeon could not agree more.
“I never think smoking’s an OK thing. It’s bad for your lungs. I just do it ‘cause I’m addicted,” he says.
Tips for Parents
A study published in The Lancet further illustrates how watching television or movies with actors who smoke negatively impacts youth behavior. Researchers from Dartmouth Medical School analyzed the viewing habits of 2,603 nonsmoking children aged 10 to 14, keeping track of how many incidents of smoking occurred in each movie they watched from a list of 50. After two years, they found that 10% of the children took up smoking or had at least tried it. Consider these additional findings from the study:
Of those children exposed to movies with the least amount of on-screen smoking, 22 began smoking.
Of those children exposed to movies with the highest occurrence of on-screen smoking, 107 became smokers.
Approximately 52% of the startup in smoking could be attributed to the movies.
Children of nonsmokers who watched movies with the highest number of smoking scenes were four times more likely to begin smoking than those who viewed movies featuring few smoking actors.
More than 6,000 children under the age of 18 try their first cigarette each day. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention also reports that more than 3,000 become daily smokers every day. It’s estimated that 4.5 million adolescents in the United States are cigarette smokers. 90 percent of cigarette smokers start before they turn 21.
The statistics show that little progress has been made in the past decade in reducing teen smoking. The American Lung Association calls smoking a “tobacco-disease epidemic” and points to the high rates of cigarette use among high school seniors, particularly girls, as evidence of this lack of progress.
Health and medical experts agree that parents must discourage children from starting to smoke and becoming addicted. Parents should also talk to their children about the health risks of tobacco and set a good example for their children by not smoking themselves. School-based tobacco education programs have also been shown to be effective in reducing the onset of teen smoking.
According to research from the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA), the key to keeping kids from smoking and using drugs is dependent on the extent to which parents take a “hands-on” approach to raising their kids. The more they establish appropriate rules and standards of behavior and monitor their teens, the lower the teen’s risk of substance abuse.
A “hands-on” approach to preventing your teen from smoking, drinking or trying drugs, according to CASA, includes consistently taking 10 or more of these 12 actions:
Monitor what your teen watches on television.
Monitor what your teen does on the Internet.
Put restrictions on the music (CDs) your teen buys.
Know where your teen spends time after school and on weekends.
Expect to be told the truth by your teen about where he or she is going.
Be “very aware” of your teen’s academic performance.
Impose a curfew.
Make clear you would be “extremely upset” if your teen smoked.
Eat dinner with your teens six or seven times a week.
Turn off the television during dinner.
Assign your teen regular chores.
Have an adult present when your teen returns from school.
References
National Cancer Institute
American Lung Association
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University
The Lancet
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Ballad of the Adopted Child by Jeanne Droullard
DOES your teen,
- always seem angry?
- have anger that turns into rage?
- show signs of depression, i.e., withdrawal, slipping grades?
- show disrespect to you or disrespect people in authority?
- self-protect by keeping people at a distance?
- lie, manipulate and steal?
- ever talk about his/her biological parents?
- want to find his/her biological parents?
DO you,
- feel comfortable about your teen's behavior?
- recognize signs of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder)?
- believe you must be adopted to show signs of RAD?
- understand what is meant by the Primal Wound?
- think it makes a difference at what age a child is adopted?
- understand bonding and how it can be disrupted?
- understand the fear and pain of an adoptee?
- understand adoptee' difficulty in trusting and showing love
It can be difficult to know if your adopted teen's anger is normal and within the range of typical teenage behavior. Most teenagers get angry, especially during the years when their bodies are changing and the hormones can bring quick and severe mood swings. All teenagers are searching the world trying to find out who they are and what they want to become. They all want to know how the world will affect them and how they will affect the world.
If not addressed as a child, an adopted teenager has a duality of conflicts to overcome. Whether adopted as a baby or as an older child, this teenager has had a separation from the birth mother and this is a strong link that is not forgotten. Nancy Verrier calls this the Primal Wound. In the womb, Psychologists now agree that the child is very aware of the mother, how she smells, how she laughs and feels, even how she sounds. The baby has been inside the womb for nine months. This baby even realizes if it was a wanted pregnancy or an unwanted pregnancy - this baby knows. It also has an awareness of the physical, mental and emotional connection with the mother. Bonding begins before physical birth and possibly shortly after conception. Many professionals used to laugh at this idea and thought it impossible for a little baby to know and remember being separated from its birth mother. Alas, the tide has changed and the professionals now believe that this child couldn't help but know the separation from the birth mom that carried it - and this is the primal wound that stays with that child forever.
Read entire article here: http://www.helpyourteens.com/adoption/index.html
- always seem angry?
- have anger that turns into rage?
- show signs of depression, i.e., withdrawal, slipping grades?
- show disrespect to you or disrespect people in authority?
- self-protect by keeping people at a distance?
- lie, manipulate and steal?
- ever talk about his/her biological parents?
- want to find his/her biological parents?
DO you,
- feel comfortable about your teen's behavior?
- recognize signs of RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder)?
- believe you must be adopted to show signs of RAD?
- understand what is meant by the Primal Wound?
- think it makes a difference at what age a child is adopted?
- understand bonding and how it can be disrupted?
- understand the fear and pain of an adoptee?
- understand adoptee' difficulty in trusting and showing love
It can be difficult to know if your adopted teen's anger is normal and within the range of typical teenage behavior. Most teenagers get angry, especially during the years when their bodies are changing and the hormones can bring quick and severe mood swings. All teenagers are searching the world trying to find out who they are and what they want to become. They all want to know how the world will affect them and how they will affect the world.
If not addressed as a child, an adopted teenager has a duality of conflicts to overcome. Whether adopted as a baby or as an older child, this teenager has had a separation from the birth mother and this is a strong link that is not forgotten. Nancy Verrier calls this the Primal Wound. In the womb, Psychologists now agree that the child is very aware of the mother, how she smells, how she laughs and feels, even how she sounds. The baby has been inside the womb for nine months. This baby even realizes if it was a wanted pregnancy or an unwanted pregnancy - this baby knows. It also has an awareness of the physical, mental and emotional connection with the mother. Bonding begins before physical birth and possibly shortly after conception. Many professionals used to laugh at this idea and thought it impossible for a little baby to know and remember being separated from its birth mother. Alas, the tide has changed and the professionals now believe that this child couldn't help but know the separation from the birth mom that carried it - and this is the primal wound that stays with that child forever.
Read entire article here: http://www.helpyourteens.com/adoption/index.html
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