By Education.com www.education.com
Last summer your teenager lazed around the pool complaining he was bored. This summer, though, he's old enough to get a job. So should you send him to the nearest fast-food place to make him earn his keep? Before uttering an unequivocal and enthusiastic "yes!" take a little time to sit down with your teen and discuss the long-term effects of how he chooses to spend his summer.
There are certainly benefits to your teen getting a summer job. When she's bringing home some money, she can start paying some of her own expenses. She'll be occupied, less likely to get into trouble and won't be complaining that she's bored. But did you know that getting a job, even as early as the summer after her freshman year, can make her more attractive to colleges, too?
"Colleges want students to use their free time wisely and well," states Lisa Sohmer, a member of the National Association for College Admission Counseling's Board of Directors. "Students can have summer jobs to earn money, but they can earn –and learn – other things as well, such as maturity and responsibility." That sense of responsibility may catch a college's attention, but the type of work a student does will keep it. According to Elizabeth Wissner-Gross, author of What High Schools Don't Tell You: 300+ Secrets to Make Your Kid Irresistible to Colleges by Senior Year, it's not enough to get a job at the local pizza place."Ideally," she says, "the student's work experience should help further the student's interests and academic passions." In other words, the teen who aspires to be a doctor should be working in a hospital or research facility this summer instead of flipping burgers.
Click here for entire article: http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Teen_Summer_Job/
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sue Scheff: Safeguarding Teenage Drivers with ADD
Young motorists with ADD need to be extra careful on the road.
Here's how they can drive safely.
Motorists with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) - especially teens - need to be extra careful on the road.
Here's how to help them minimize distractions and stay safe.
Pick a safe car. Larger cars offer greater protection in the event of an accident.
Help your teen with ADD learn to drive. Practice sessions should cover a variety of situations.
Ask that he drive with an adult for at least his first 500 miles behind the wheel.
Don't let your teen drive at night. Most fatal crashes involving young drivers occur between 9 p.m. and midnight.
Don't let your teenager chauffeur other teens.
Remind your teen that he must wear a seat belt at all times ...and that he must never drive after drinking or using drugs.
For more on keeping teenagers safe behind the wheel, see AD/HD & Driving: A Guide for Parents of Teens with AD/HD, by J. Marlene Snyder, Ph.D. (Whitefish Consultants, 2001).
Monday, May 26, 2008
Sue Scheff: Understanding Teen Decision Making
What was he thinking? How could she? If you find yourself wondering what your teen was thinking, the answer may be not much. Kids often make snap judgments based on impulse, especially when situations come up quickly, leaving teens with little time to sort through the pros and cons.
Some of those hasty decisions may involve cheating in school; skipping class; using alcohol, tobacco, or illegal drugs; going somewhere or being with someone that you do not approve of; or driving too fast. But the consequences can include losing your trust, letting down friends, getting into trouble, hurting education and job prospects, causing illness or injury, or leading to other reckless behavior.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Inhalant Abuse - Warning Signs
Inhalant Abuse is a lesser-known form of substance abuse, but is no less dangerous than other forms.The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service has reported that more than 2.1 million children in America experiment with some form of an inhalant each year and the Centers for Disease Control lists inhalants as second only to marijuana for illicit drug use among youth.
However, parents aren't talking to their children about this deadly issue. According to the Alliance for Consumer Education's research study, Inhalant Abuse falls behind alcohol, tobacco and marijuana use by nearly 50% in terms of parental knowledge and concern. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America reports that 18 percent of all eighth graders have used inhalants, but nine out of 10 parents are unaware or deny that their children have abused inhalants. Many parents are not aware that inhalant users can die the first time they try Inhalants.
Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome is caused in one of two ways. First, Inhalants force the heart to beat rapidly and erratically until the user goes into cardiac arrest. Second, the fumes from an Inhalant enter a user's lungs and central nervous system. By lowering oxygen levels enough, the user is unable to breathe and suffocates. Regular abuse of these substances can result in serious harm to vital organs including the brain, heart, kidneys and liver.
Even if the user doesn't die, Inhalants can still affect the body. Most Inhalants produce a rapid high that resembles alcohol intoxication with initial excitement, then drowsiness, disinhibition, lightheadedness and agitation. Short-term effects include headache, muscle weakness, abdominal pain, severe mood swings and violent behavior, slurred speech, numbness and tingling of the hands and feet, nausea, hearing loss, limb spasms, fatigue, and lack of coordination. Long- term effects include central nervous system or brain damage. Serious effects include damage to the liver, heart, kidneys, blood oxygen level depletion, unconsciousness and death.
Studies show that strong parental involvement in a child's life makes the child less likely to use Inhalants. Know the warning signs or behavior patterns to watch for and take the time to educate yourself about the issue so that you can talk to your children about inhalants.
Click here for entire article and warning signs http://www.inhalant.org/inhalant/warnings.php
www.inhalant.org
www.helpyourteens.com
However, parents aren't talking to their children about this deadly issue. According to the Alliance for Consumer Education's research study, Inhalant Abuse falls behind alcohol, tobacco and marijuana use by nearly 50% in terms of parental knowledge and concern. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America reports that 18 percent of all eighth graders have used inhalants, but nine out of 10 parents are unaware or deny that their children have abused inhalants. Many parents are not aware that inhalant users can die the first time they try Inhalants.
Sudden Sniffing Death Syndrome is caused in one of two ways. First, Inhalants force the heart to beat rapidly and erratically until the user goes into cardiac arrest. Second, the fumes from an Inhalant enter a user's lungs and central nervous system. By lowering oxygen levels enough, the user is unable to breathe and suffocates. Regular abuse of these substances can result in serious harm to vital organs including the brain, heart, kidneys and liver.
Even if the user doesn't die, Inhalants can still affect the body. Most Inhalants produce a rapid high that resembles alcohol intoxication with initial excitement, then drowsiness, disinhibition, lightheadedness and agitation. Short-term effects include headache, muscle weakness, abdominal pain, severe mood swings and violent behavior, slurred speech, numbness and tingling of the hands and feet, nausea, hearing loss, limb spasms, fatigue, and lack of coordination. Long- term effects include central nervous system or brain damage. Serious effects include damage to the liver, heart, kidneys, blood oxygen level depletion, unconsciousness and death.
Studies show that strong parental involvement in a child's life makes the child less likely to use Inhalants. Know the warning signs or behavior patterns to watch for and take the time to educate yourself about the issue so that you can talk to your children about inhalants.
Click here for entire article and warning signs http://www.inhalant.org/inhalant/warnings.php
www.inhalant.org
www.helpyourteens.com
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Helping ADHD Children with Impulse Control: Smart Discipline
Help children with ADHD think before they act by establishing clear expectations, positive incentives, and predictable consequences for good or bad behavior at school and home.
For children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) ruled by their impulses, calling out in class or pushing to the front of the line comes naturally. These kids live in the moment, undeterred by rules or consequences. Even when they are rude or unruly, they may not recognize that their behavior is disturbing to others.
For children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) ruled by their impulses, calling out in class or pushing to the front of the line comes naturally. These kids live in the moment, undeterred by rules or consequences. Even when they are rude or unruly, they may not recognize that their behavior is disturbing to others.
Lack of impulse control may be the most difficult ADD symptom to change. Medication can help, but kids also need clear expectations, positive incentives, and predictable consequences if they are to learn to regulate their behavior.
Click here for entire article.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teens and Dating
Romantic Feelings of Teens: A Natural Process
Teens face strong pressures to date, as well as get involved in a romantic relationship1. A romantic relationship is one that invloves feelings of attraction–physical and friendship. In fact, over half of teens in the United States report dating regularly (casual dates with one or more partners at different times) whereas a third claim to have a steady dating (exclusive) partner2. Young teens usually hang out with peers who are the same gender as they are. As they reach the mid-teen years (age 14-15 years), they start having relationships with peers of the opposite sex3. Such relationships are likely to be friendships and/or physical attractions. Although most romantic relationships among 12- to 14-year-olds last less than 5 months, by age 16 relationships last an average of 2 years4. In the early teen years dating is more superficial–for fun and recreation, status among peers, and exploring attractiveness/sexuality. In the older teen years youth are looking for intimacy, companionship, affection, and social support.
Click here for the entire article.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Your Child's Strengths by Jenifer Fox
By Jenifer Fox M.ED
One of the most important goals of the Strengths Movement is to equip parents with the tools they need to help children discover and leverage their strengths. As this site continues to grow and evolve, we will continue to add resources. If you know of a good resource which is not listed here, let us know and we will add it.
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As a parent advocate, this book and websites offer tremendous educational information for parents to help them with their child's strengths.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teens Texting and Driving by Connect with Kids
“I don’t even remember hitting the truck because I was looking down at my phone when I hit it.”
– Richard Tatum, 18
Three seconds. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, that’s all the time it takes for a driver to take their eyes off the road and get into a car accident. And now, with more kids than ever texting on their cell phones while they’re driving… how many more crashes will there be? How many more kids will get hurt?
Richard Tatum was sending his girlfriend a text message, just like he does throughout the day. The problem was, this time he was driving while he was texting.
He crossed the median and collided head-on with a cement truck.
“I don’t even remember hitting the truck because I was looking down at my phone when I hit it,” says Richard, 18.
Richard’s car was totaled: he barely survived.
“It crushed my pelvis and hip and my knee. I tore two ligaments and chipped a piece of my knee cap off.”
According to a recent AAA Auto Club survey, 46 percent of teens admit to text messaging while driving. That’s up from 13 percent just two years ago.
“You just look down to text, look up to drive, look down to text. It’s not hard to do so everybody does it,” says Richard.
Two states, Washington and New Jersey, have made driving while texting illegal. Sixteen more are trying to pass similar legislation.
And it’s not just texting that’s dangerous; simply talking on the phone while driving greatly impairs your ability. Research from the University of Utah shows that driving while talking on the cell phone is equivalent to a .08 blood alcohol level. In most states, if your blood alcohol level is greater than .08 you are considered intoxicated.
Experts say that parents should make it clear: teens can use their cell phone or the car, but not both at the same time.
“With teens, you have to send the message that you cannot do this while you are driving, and if I find out you are doing it, then you are not going to be driving,” says Ted Waldbart, general manager, Safe America Foundation.
As for Richard, he’s now walking and even driving again, but he will never be the same.
“He now has the hip of a 47-year-old because of the cartilage damage and everything. And he is going to have arthritis, and he’s just not going to be able to do the things that he could do before,” says Richard’s mother, Linda Tatum.
“I don’t text when I drive anymore; it’s not worth breaking my good hip,” Richard says with a laugh.
Tips for Parents
– Richard Tatum, 18
Three seconds. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, that’s all the time it takes for a driver to take their eyes off the road and get into a car accident. And now, with more kids than ever texting on their cell phones while they’re driving… how many more crashes will there be? How many more kids will get hurt?
Richard Tatum was sending his girlfriend a text message, just like he does throughout the day. The problem was, this time he was driving while he was texting.
He crossed the median and collided head-on with a cement truck.
“I don’t even remember hitting the truck because I was looking down at my phone when I hit it,” says Richard, 18.
Richard’s car was totaled: he barely survived.
“It crushed my pelvis and hip and my knee. I tore two ligaments and chipped a piece of my knee cap off.”
According to a recent AAA Auto Club survey, 46 percent of teens admit to text messaging while driving. That’s up from 13 percent just two years ago.
“You just look down to text, look up to drive, look down to text. It’s not hard to do so everybody does it,” says Richard.
Two states, Washington and New Jersey, have made driving while texting illegal. Sixteen more are trying to pass similar legislation.
And it’s not just texting that’s dangerous; simply talking on the phone while driving greatly impairs your ability. Research from the University of Utah shows that driving while talking on the cell phone is equivalent to a .08 blood alcohol level. In most states, if your blood alcohol level is greater than .08 you are considered intoxicated.
Experts say that parents should make it clear: teens can use their cell phone or the car, but not both at the same time.
“With teens, you have to send the message that you cannot do this while you are driving, and if I find out you are doing it, then you are not going to be driving,” says Ted Waldbart, general manager, Safe America Foundation.
As for Richard, he’s now walking and even driving again, but he will never be the same.
“He now has the hip of a 47-year-old because of the cartilage damage and everything. And he is going to have arthritis, and he’s just not going to be able to do the things that he could do before,” says Richard’s mother, Linda Tatum.
“I don’t text when I drive anymore; it’s not worth breaking my good hip,” Richard says with a laugh.
Tips for Parents
The Federal government estimates that 30 percent of car accidents are due to driving distractions. To help keep your teen safe while they are in the car, Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) and Liberty Mutual Insurance Group recommend these guidelines for teaching teens about driving distractions.
Know and enforce your state’s Graduated Driver License laws and restrictions, including unsupervised driving, time of day and passengers in the car.
Sign a teen driving contract (many are available online, including SADD’s Contract for Life.
Set family driving rules with clear consequences for breaking the rules. SADD recommends rules such as:
No alcohol or drug use
No cell phone use, including text messaging
Limit distractions — eating, changing CDs, handling iPods or other activities while driving
Limit or restrict friends in the car without an adult
Be a role model. Your teen will follow your driving example, so be sure you are keeping your own rules.
If you receive an important call or must make a call, pull off the road. Do not drive while calling or texting.
Let your voicemail take the call. You can call back later when you are not driving.
Know when to stop talking. If the conversation is long, emotional or stressful continue it when you are not driving.
Do not take notes while driving. If you don’t want to forget a note, use a take recorder or pull off the road.
Do not eat or drink while driving.
Groom yourself at home, not in the vehicle.
References
Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) & Liberty Mutual Insurance Group Chicago Arts Partnerships in Education (CAPE)
Safe America Foundation
Road and Travel
Safe America Foundation
Road and Travel
Monday, May 19, 2008
Sue Scheff: Can Children Outgrow ADHD?
Parents of children with attention deficit disorder often wonder if their kids will stay on ADD drugs for life. A medical expert explains.
I recently diagnosed eight-year-old Aidan with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD). When I met with his parents to explain the disorder, each time I described a symptom, his mother exclaimed, “That’s me!” or “I’ve been like that all my life, too.” At the end of the appointment, she asked me if she should be evaluated, as well.
As an adult, Aidan’s mother had jumped from job to job, and had difficulty meeting household demands. As a child, she had struggled through school, often getting into trouble and getting poor grades. After a thorough evaluation of her chronic and pervasive history of hyperactivity, distractibility, and other symptoms of ADHD, she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist who works with adults.
Click here for entire article.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff: Parents Helping Stop Bullying and School Violence
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): Love our Children USA offers help for kids and parents today with all the issues they face. Bullying, cyberbullying and school violence is part of what our children may face. Learn more here.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Learn Your Child's Educational Rights
by ADDitude Magazine - http://www.additudemag.com/
Learn your child’s educational rights to get him the support he needs in the classroom.
In an ideal world, teachers and school administrators would be as eager as parents to see that children with ADD get what they need to succeed in school. Unfortunately, teachers are pressed for time as never before, and school districts are strapped for cash. So it’s up to parents to make sure that their kids get the extra support they need.
“The federal government requires schools to provide special services to kids with ADD and other disabilities, but the school systems themselves bear much of the cost of these services,” says Susan Luger, director of The Children’s Advisory Group in New York City. “Though they’ll never admit it, this gives the schools an incentive to deny these services. The process of obtaining services has become much more legalistic over the past 10 years.”
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts: Cutting Back on Sugar to Treat Symptoms in Children
Simple changes in diet, like cutting back on snacks with sugar, could bring out the sweeter side this holiday season in your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).
Chances are, you’ve had the following chat with the doctor of your child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) — probably just before the holidays: “Every time Johnny eats lots of sugary foods, his symptoms of ADHD worsen, and he becomes irritable and hyper. I dread this season because Johnny turns it into unhappy days for everyone.”
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teen Depression
Teenage depression is more than just bad moods or broken hearts; it is a very serious clinical illness that will affect approximately 20% of teens before they reach adulthood. Left untreated, depression can lead to difficult home situations, problems at school, drug abuse, and worse, violence toward themselves and others.
Click here to learn more about Teen Depression.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Screen Addicts
New research shows that each week our children spend five hours online, six hours on the phone, eight hours playing video games, 12 hours listening to music, and 30 hours watching TV or movies. The American Medical Association reports that five million kids are addicted to videogames.
This program explores the dangers in the technology that has overtaken our kids’ lives. The profiles include four siblings constantly fighting over use of the family computer, a teenager whose addiction to online pornography started when he was 12 years old, and another teen who got hooked on Internet gambling and is now paying off $18,000 in credit card debt.
The program also examines choices parents can make about how to protect their children from these hazards; the research is clear that one parenting style is far more effective than several others.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Alliance for Consumer Education - Inhalant Abuse Prevention
Welcome to the Alliance for Consumer Education's (ACE) inhalant abuse prevention site! ACE is a foundation dedicated to advancing community health and well-being.
Did you know 1 in 5 children will abuse inhalants by the 8th grade? Inhalant abuse refers to the deliberate inhalation or sniffing of fumes, vapors or gases from common household products for the purpose of "getting high".
This site is designed to assist you in learning more about inhalant abuse prevention and giving you tools to help raise the awareness of others. While here be sure to check out our free printable resources, post any comments or questions on ACE’s community message board, and visit our new blog by visiting http://www.inhalant.org/.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Sue Scheff - Home Drug Test for Teens
Parents are the #1 Reason Kids Don’t Do Drugs….
Test with HairConfirm Drug Test for a 90 Day Drug History Report!
Click on the link above if you are a parent that suspects your child is using drugs. Knowing early could prevent drug addiction.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Sue Scheff: Education.com
http://www.education.com/ is a website that offers parents a wide variety of information for parent from toddlers to teens!
Check it out and learn more about parenting your individual child.
What is education.com?
Education.com is an online resource for parents with kids in preschool through grade 12.On our site you can:
Search over 4,000 reference articles from the best and most authoritative sources across the web. From the NYU Child Study Center to the Autism Society of America, Reading is Fundamental to Stanford University School of Education, our Reference Desk brings the best information from the most trusted universities, professional associations, non-profit institutes, and government agencies together in one place.
Browse our online magazine for hundreds of ideas that take learning beyond the classroom and into your family’s everyday life. We cover topics across the parental spectrum-- from practicing fractions by baking cookies, to how to deal with ADHD, bullying, to navigating the parent-teacher conference.
Explore virtual neighborhoods where parents with similar interests or challenges connect to trade advice and share their experiences with one another—whether it’s about dyslexia or dioramas.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff): Rebellious Teenagers - Disrespect, Violence and Unruly Behavior
By Connect with Kids
Civil Wars
You see them everywhere you go – rebellious teenagers whose attitudes, language and behaviors are disrespectful and inappropriate. Is it an unavoidable part of growing up or a more serious sign of a truly angry kid?
More than 80 percent of teachers surveyed said students today are, in fact, more disrespectful than ever before – talking back, cheating, bullying, cursing. Is this the most uncivil generation in history? And if so, are they learning it from adults, the media, our fast-paced culture? Where do we draw the line when it comes to rebellious teenagers?
Personal Insights on what drives an angry kid
In Civil Wars, you’ll hear from rebellious teenagers whose bad behavior had them on the verge of getting kicked out of school… and how they turned their lives around. You’ll see entire schools that have eliminated bullying and violence and learn why they believe having well-mannered, civil kids is so important.
This is not a subject kids like to talk about with adults, but once they hear each angry kid in Civil Wars tell their stories, they’ll open up so that the entire family comes away with a whole new perspective.
Order now to get your own insights into the lives of rebellious teenagers. You'll learn how to deal with an angry kid.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Sue Scheff: How to Move Past Mistakes - Eight simple parenting rules for motivating a vulnerable child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD)
By ADDitude Magazine
Eight simple parenting rules for motivating a vulnerable child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD).
What’s the key to reaching one’s goals and making a happy, productive life? Motivation. But it’s hard to feel motivated when much of what you try goes awry. Just ask (or observe) a child with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD); distractibility and memory deficits can lead to frequent mistakes at home and at school — and what feels like constant discipline and criticism from parents and teachers.
Some kids buy into the idea that they aren’t capable of much, and give up when faced with even small challenges. Others become so fearful of not doing things right that they don’t even try. Either way, these kids suffer a severe blow to their self-esteem.
Now for the good news: It’s surprisingly easy to “inoculate” your son or daughter against defeatism and low self-esteem. All you have to do is teach your child how to think about the mistakes they make. Use my eight rules (outlined below) at home, and encourage your child’s teachers to use them at school. The rules are known by the acronym DELICATE. (If you have trouble remembering all eight, write them down, and post them prominently in your home.)
D is for DECREASE
Point out to your child when his mistakes are decreasing in magnitude or frequency — and assure him that they are likely to continue to do so. “Look how far you’ve already come,” you might say. “The more you practice, the fewer mistakes you make. Things will get easier.”
E is for EXPECTATION
Kids are less likely to be discouraged by mistakes if they realize that mistakes are to be expected. Ask your child to name what is at each end of a pencil. Explain that the point is for writing and the eraser is for correcting mistakes. In fact, the inevitability of mistakes is why erasers were invented. Explain, “Of course there are going to be mistakes. That’s what erasers are for.”
L is for LEARNING OPPORTUNITY
The only difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is how your child uses it. Make sure your child understands that every mistake, no matter how big or small, can be used as a learning opportunity. “Let’s learn from what just happened,” you might say. “Remember, success means making progress—not being perfect.”
I is for INCOMPLETE
Teach your child to regard a mistake not as a mark of failure, but as an indication that a project remains unfinished: “You’re not done with it yet. We’ll work on it again later. You didn’t run out of talent, you just ran out of time.”
C is for CAUSE
The perfectionist parent believes there is no excuse for mistakes. The realistic parent understands that mistakes are inevitable, and—rather than trying to affix blame — looks for causes to correct. “Let’s see what’s giving you trouble here,” you might say. “Every mistake has a cause.”
A is for ACCIDENT
Make sure your child knows that mistakes are, by nature, accidents, and that making one does not mean that he is “bad.”
T is for TEMPORARY
Encourage your child to view each mistake as a temporary setback on the road to success: “You’re just not ready for that activity right now—you’ll do better later.”
E is for EFFORT
Mistakes should be viewed as proof of trying, not as proof of failing to try hard enough. Point out that Michael Jordan missed 63 percent of the baskets he attempted during his basketball career. Babe Ruth struck out more than 1,300 times. And Thomas Edison tried 611 different materials before discovering that tungsten makes the best filament for a light bulb. “The only way you can guarantee avoiding a mistake,” you might say, “is not to try. Thank you for trying.”
By applying these eight concepts to the mistakes your child makes, you’re helping him develop that “I can do it!” self-confidence, free of the specter of perfectionism.
Some kids buy into the idea that they aren’t capable of much, and give up when faced with even small challenges. Others become so fearful of not doing things right that they don’t even try. Either way, these kids suffer a severe blow to their self-esteem.
Now for the good news: It’s surprisingly easy to “inoculate” your son or daughter against defeatism and low self-esteem. All you have to do is teach your child how to think about the mistakes they make. Use my eight rules (outlined below) at home, and encourage your child’s teachers to use them at school. The rules are known by the acronym DELICATE. (If you have trouble remembering all eight, write them down, and post them prominently in your home.)
D is for DECREASE
Point out to your child when his mistakes are decreasing in magnitude or frequency — and assure him that they are likely to continue to do so. “Look how far you’ve already come,” you might say. “The more you practice, the fewer mistakes you make. Things will get easier.”
E is for EXPECTATION
Kids are less likely to be discouraged by mistakes if they realize that mistakes are to be expected. Ask your child to name what is at each end of a pencil. Explain that the point is for writing and the eraser is for correcting mistakes. In fact, the inevitability of mistakes is why erasers were invented. Explain, “Of course there are going to be mistakes. That’s what erasers are for.”
L is for LEARNING OPPORTUNITY
The only difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is how your child uses it. Make sure your child understands that every mistake, no matter how big or small, can be used as a learning opportunity. “Let’s learn from what just happened,” you might say. “Remember, success means making progress—not being perfect.”
I is for INCOMPLETE
Teach your child to regard a mistake not as a mark of failure, but as an indication that a project remains unfinished: “You’re not done with it yet. We’ll work on it again later. You didn’t run out of talent, you just ran out of time.”
C is for CAUSE
The perfectionist parent believes there is no excuse for mistakes. The realistic parent understands that mistakes are inevitable, and—rather than trying to affix blame — looks for causes to correct. “Let’s see what’s giving you trouble here,” you might say. “Every mistake has a cause.”
A is for ACCIDENT
Make sure your child knows that mistakes are, by nature, accidents, and that making one does not mean that he is “bad.”
T is for TEMPORARY
Encourage your child to view each mistake as a temporary setback on the road to success: “You’re just not ready for that activity right now—you’ll do better later.”
E is for EFFORT
Mistakes should be viewed as proof of trying, not as proof of failing to try hard enough. Point out that Michael Jordan missed 63 percent of the baskets he attempted during his basketball career. Babe Ruth struck out more than 1,300 times. And Thomas Edison tried 611 different materials before discovering that tungsten makes the best filament for a light bulb. “The only way you can guarantee avoiding a mistake,” you might say, “is not to try. Thank you for trying.”
By applying these eight concepts to the mistakes your child makes, you’re helping him develop that “I can do it!” self-confidence, free of the specter of perfectionism.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Sue Scheff - A Parents True Story - Carolina Springs Academy
Our story has been read by thousands of families since I posted it years ago. I have been through litigation and proved my story is our experiences. I fought back as I have been maliciously attacked online and won an unprecedented jury verdict for damages of over $11M! My daughter and I are fighters - that is how she endured Carolina Springs Academy and I endured 5 years of litigation victoriously!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Help Keep Your Kids Safe in Cyber Space
Finding a Healthy Balance
Warning Signs your Teen May Be Addicted
Psychological and Physical Signs and Symptoms
If you are worried that your teen may be suffering from an unhealthy addiction to the Internet, there are many physical and mental warning signs to watch for. Many of these symptoms are very similar to those of depression and anxiety, another very serious condition affecting teens today. If you feel your teen is suffering from depression, please visit Sue Scheff™'s web resource on teen depression and anxiety.
Feelings of intense happiness and euphoria while using the Internet, and feelings of depression, anxiety or irritability if away from the computer
Cravings for the Internet - Never having enough time with it
Neglecting family and friends - spending more time with the computer and less time doing activities previously enjoyed.
Getting behind on homework or school activities
Lying about what they are doing while online
Complains of dry eyes
Complains of Headaches
Complains of Backaches
Changes in eating habits such as skipping meals or over eating
Neglect of personal hygiene
Problems with sleep
What Should Parents Do?
Examine your Internet habits. Do you spend too much time in front of the screen? The habits of you and your family impact your teen. Be a good role model!
Look for the above warning signs, and take action if you feel your teen may be at risk. Seek professional help.
Always keep the computer in a common area of the home where it can be monitored by you.
DO NOT BAN THE INTERNET. Instead, work with your teen on a time schedule that feels fair to the both of you.
Encourage social activity outside of the Internet. Because chatting, emails, and other online social media make it easy for teens to stay at home, open the door to more outside activity. Plan events with friends and family.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Suicide Information
Suicide is the third most common cause of death amongst adolescents between 15-24 years of age, and the sixth most common cause of death amongst 5-14 year olds. It is estimated that over half of all teens suffering from depression will attempt suicide at least once, and of those teens, roughly seven percent will succeed on the first try. Teenagers are especially vulnerable to the threat of suicide, because in addition to increased stress from school, work and peers, teens are also dealing with hormonal fluctuations that can complicate even the most normal situations.
Because of these social and personal changes, teens are also at higher risk for depression, which can also increase feelings of despair and the desire to commit suicide. In fact, according to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) almost all people who commit suicide suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder or substance abuse disorder. Often, teens feel as though they have no other way out of their problems, and may not realize that suicidal thoughts and feelings can be treated. Unfortunately, due to the often volatile relationship between teens and their parents, teens may not be as forthcoming about suicidal feelings as parents would hope. The good news is there are many signs parents can watch for in their teen without necessarily needing their teen to open up to them.
At some point in most teens’ lives, they will experience periods of sadness, worry and/or despair. While it is completely normal for a healthy person to have these types of responses to pain resulting from loss, dismissal, or disillusionment, those with serious (often undiagnosed) mental illnesses often experience much more drastic reactions. Many times these severe reactions will leave the teen in despair, and they may feel that there is no end in sight to their suffering. It is at this point that the teen may lose hope, and with the absence of hope comes more depression and the feeling that suicide is the only solution. It isn’t.
Teen girls are statistically twice as likely as their male counterparts to attempt suicide. They tend to turn to drugs (overdosing) or to cut themselves, while boys are traditionally more successful in their suicide attempts because they utilize more lethal methods such as guns and hanging. This method preference makes boys almost four times more successful in committing suicide.
Studies have borne out that suicide rates rise considerably when teens can access firearms in their home. In fact, nearly 60% of suicides committed in the United States that result in immediate death are accomplished with a gun. This is one crucial reason that any gun kept in a home with teens, even if that teen does not display any outward signs of depression, be stored in a locked compartment away from any ammunition. In fact, the ammunition should be stored in a locked compartment as well, and the keys to both the gun and ammunition compartments should be kept in a different area from where normal, everyday keys are kept. Remember to always keep firearms, ammunition, and the keys to the locks containing them, away from kids.
Unfortunately, teen suicide is not a rare event. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that suicide is the third leading cause of death for people between the ages of 15 and 24. This disturbing trend is affecting younger children as well, with suicide rates experiencing dramatic increases in the under-15 age group from 1980 to 1996. Suicide attempts are even more prevalent, though it is difficult to track the exact rates.
Because of these social and personal changes, teens are also at higher risk for depression, which can also increase feelings of despair and the desire to commit suicide. In fact, according to a study by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) almost all people who commit suicide suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder or substance abuse disorder. Often, teens feel as though they have no other way out of their problems, and may not realize that suicidal thoughts and feelings can be treated. Unfortunately, due to the often volatile relationship between teens and their parents, teens may not be as forthcoming about suicidal feelings as parents would hope. The good news is there are many signs parents can watch for in their teen without necessarily needing their teen to open up to them.
At some point in most teens’ lives, they will experience periods of sadness, worry and/or despair. While it is completely normal for a healthy person to have these types of responses to pain resulting from loss, dismissal, or disillusionment, those with serious (often undiagnosed) mental illnesses often experience much more drastic reactions. Many times these severe reactions will leave the teen in despair, and they may feel that there is no end in sight to their suffering. It is at this point that the teen may lose hope, and with the absence of hope comes more depression and the feeling that suicide is the only solution. It isn’t.
Teen girls are statistically twice as likely as their male counterparts to attempt suicide. They tend to turn to drugs (overdosing) or to cut themselves, while boys are traditionally more successful in their suicide attempts because they utilize more lethal methods such as guns and hanging. This method preference makes boys almost four times more successful in committing suicide.
Studies have borne out that suicide rates rise considerably when teens can access firearms in their home. In fact, nearly 60% of suicides committed in the United States that result in immediate death are accomplished with a gun. This is one crucial reason that any gun kept in a home with teens, even if that teen does not display any outward signs of depression, be stored in a locked compartment away from any ammunition. In fact, the ammunition should be stored in a locked compartment as well, and the keys to both the gun and ammunition compartments should be kept in a different area from where normal, everyday keys are kept. Remember to always keep firearms, ammunition, and the keys to the locks containing them, away from kids.
Unfortunately, teen suicide is not a rare event. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that suicide is the third leading cause of death for people between the ages of 15 and 24. This disturbing trend is affecting younger children as well, with suicide rates experiencing dramatic increases in the under-15 age group from 1980 to 1996. Suicide attempts are even more prevalent, though it is difficult to track the exact rates.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Sue Scheff: LOVE OUR CHILDREN USA
Every year over 3 million children are victims of violence and almost 1.8million are abducted. Nearly 600,000 children live in foster care. Every day1 out of 7 kids and teens are approached online by predators.
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