Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Suicide - Helping Parents with Awareness

As you have probably heard before, talking to your teen about suicide is one of the most important things you can do in helping to prevent a suicide attempt. Many times parents are unsure of what to say and instead say nothing. Here are some suggestions of how you can open the channels of communication and help your teen open up.

First, tell your teen you care; no matter the state of your relationship, just hearing this can go a long way. Tell your teen you are there if needed, and are willing to listen without judging. NAMI estimates that around 80% of all teens who attempt suicide give some sort of verbal or nonverbal warning beforehand, so be sure to take whatever your teen says completely seriously.

A common mistake parents make when dealing with a suicidal teen is thinking that if they mention suicide they will be planting the idea in their teen’s brain.

This is simply not accurate. In fact, by mentioning your fears, you are showing your teen that you take their actions and their life seriously. Remember, most people who are suicidal do not really want to die- they want to put an end to the suffering they are experiencing.

When given an opportunity to be helped through that suffering, or when some of that suffering is alleviated by knowing they aren’t alone, this can help reduce the desire to end the pain by more drastic means.

More information on Teen Suicide.

Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Drivers

By Connect with Kids

Behind The Wheel

When kids get their license, it opens up a world of freedom, and a world of risks. More teens die driving than any other age group. While we can’t protect our teenagers from everything on the road, we have to at least try to protect them from themselves – young drivers are inexperienced, easily distracted and typically drive as if they are invincible.Children won’t always listen to adults.

That’s why our programs always feature real kids that your kids can relate to. In Behind the Wheel, teens share their true stories about driving and crashing – broken bones, broken trust, shattered dreams. Watch this compelling program as a family, and suddenly you won’t be talking at your kids... you’ll be talking with them.

With a team of experts, you’ll learn many ways that parents can help keep kids safe on the road. You’ll explore driving contracts, cell phone use and new technology that helps parents to keep tabs on their kids’ driving. Don’t miss this chance to see what real teen drivers are doing on the road…to show your own kids the incredible dangers… and to learn how you can help them be safe before it’s too late.

Sue Scheff: Swearing Habit among Kids

by Connect with Kids

“I cussed again in that class so I got another detention … it’s just in my vocabulary.”

– Tyler, 15

Most four-letter words have been around for centuries, but many educators, authors and parents feel that today’s teens are using those words more than any generation in the past. Teenagers may not think that’s a problem, but experts have a different take.

In a casual conversation between Verona and her friends, you need to “bleep” out a lot of words.

“Everyone swears,” says Verona, 14.

“I mean, it’s nothing big to us,” says Tyler, 15.

Experts estimate that the average teen uses between 80 and 90 swear words a day.

“I see kids all the time now who talk to their parents that way and talk to their friends that way,” says Deborah Christy, English teacher.

Where are kids picking up this language? Researchers say they hear it from each other and from the media, including movies, music and television.

“A lot more is accepted in the 7 to 9 o’clock time on TV. There’s a lot more that is accepted now than 10 years ago. So if kids hear things in the mainstream media, they are going to be more used to it, it’s not going to have the shock value, it’s going to seem more acceptable,” says Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist.

“When children have seen that happening on television, they think it’s okay for them in their real lives,” says Christy.

The problem is that cussing can become a habit.

“And while your best friend may appreciate that it’s a joke, a stranger won’t, an employer won’t, a teacher won’t,” says Christy.

Tyler got sent to detention for saying the f-word in front of a teacher and then…

“I cussed again in that class so I got another detention …it’s just in my vocabulary,” says Tyler.

Experts say that parents should explain to their children that four-letter words send a message about you and the person you’re talking to.

“It’s a question of respect. It’s the image that I want you to present to the world… it’s how I want to be treated and it’s how others want to be treated,” says Christy.

Tips for Parents

In much of today’s teen culture, it has become acceptable to swear and verbally abuse others -- more than in any previous generation. While parents may not be able to totally prevent abusive language from entering their homes (in music, television and other media), teens should understand the limits their parents set. (Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, CAMH)

Language is a powerful means by which teens control the actions of others, including dating partners, parents and peers. Be especially vigilant for expressions that put down others, no matter how "innocent" or "joking" they may seem, and point out what these expressions really communicate. (CAMH)

Try to initiate positive communication with your teenager whenever the opportunity arises. If you are experiencing conflict with your teen over rules, chores, school, peers, etc., talk to them about it, but also attempt to have positive conversations with your teen about other things. (CAMH)

Parents who try and enforce absolutes are often in conflict with their teens and most often are kept in the dark about their activities. The alternative is to discuss choices and the pros and cons of these new-found opportunities in a non-threatening manner, and obtain their understanding in advance of consequences for breach of trust. (CAMH)

Connect with Kids research-based DVDs, such as Civil Wars, help parents and teens talk about tough issues in a non-threatening way.

Set high standards and have high expectations for your teens regarding their behavior, and enforce these standards with consistent discipline. However, you should provide an atmosphere of acceptance and psychological autonomy where the teen's views and individuality can develop freely. (CAMH)

References

Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH)

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Rage, Teen Anger, Teen Violence - Is your teen in crisis?

"I don't care what you say I am doing what I want to do! I hate you and you just don't want me to have fun!" "All my friends are allowed to stay out late; you are mean and want to ruin my life!" "You have no idea how I feel and you are only making it worse!" When a difficult teen is out of control, they only can hear themselves and what they want. It is usually their way or no way!

There are so many factors that can contribute to these feelings. The feelings are very real and should be addressed as soon as you see that your child is starting to run the household. Teen Anger may lead to Teen Rage and Teen Violence which can soon destroy a family.Again, local therapist* can help your family diagnosis what is causing the negative behavior patterns. Conduct Disorder is one of the many causes to harmful behavior.

Many times you will find a need for a positive and safe program to help the teen realize where these hurtful outbursts are stemming from. Parents tell us constantly, they are looking for a "Boot Camp" to achieve their mission to make their child "pay" for the pain they are putting the family through. In some cases this can create a Violent Teen.

We feel that when you place a negative child into a negative atmosphere, most children only gain resentment and more anger. There are some cases that it has been effective; however we do not refer to any Boot Camps. We believe in a Positive Peer Culture for teen help to build your child back up from the helplessness they feel.

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure? Teen Violence? Need Teen Help?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) - Homework Stress

By Connect with Kids

“Personally, when I have homework in class, I dread going to class that day. One, to turn in the homework, and two, to review the homework.”

– Paige, 16

It’s a familiar refrain from kids: there’s too much homework, too much reading, too many math problems to solve! But is homework really out of control?

Kate, 16, averages 2 ½ hours of homework a night -- sometimes even more.

“I’d say the most -- maybe three or four hours. It’s definitely on overload,” says Kate.

Are kids overloaded? According to a new survey commissioned by MetLife Insurance, the answer depends on whom you ask. The survey shows that 85 percent of parents say their kids are doing the “right amount” or “too little” homework each night. But 90 percent of kids say they’re stressed out about homework.

“It’s a little hard because I do sports and so it’s kind of hard to balance all of that,” says Jasmyn, 15.

“Personally, when I have homework in class, I dread going to class that day. One, to turn in the homework and two, to review the homework. If I listen in class and take good notes, I usually do well on tests and quizzes, so I don’t think [homework] is reinforcement. If anything, it just makes me kind of dread going to that class,” says Paige, 16.

“It makes me hate school,” says Matt, 16.

“If kids see it as something that is pointless, tedious and even anxiety-producing, of course it’s not going to benefit them,” says Alfie Kohn, education speaker and author of 11 books, including What to Look for in a Classroom.

Some experts say the problem isn’t too much homework -- it’s homework that is too difficult.

“Homework can be overload if the child is simply frustrated. It isn’t that they have too much homework, it’s that they have homework they don’t understand that’s taking them too long to do because of that,” says Frank Pajares, Ph. D.

“You can’t have … a child achieving well academically who is highly anxious. If homework is bringing that, then I think homework is defeating the ultimate purpose, which is for the child to be achieving well,” says Jennifer Obidah, Ph.D., psychologist.

Kate has one good thing to say about homework: it teaches her how to manage her time, which will come in handy in college.

“It kind of prepares you for when you’re not going to have parents sitting there saying, ‘Okay, you need to get going with your math or get going with your history homework.’ It pays off,” says Kate.

Tips for Parents

There are several things you can do to make homework less work. First, create a Homework Plan:

First, be sure you understand the assignment. Write it down in your notebook or day planner if you need to, and don't be afraid to ask questions about what's expected. It's much easier to take a minute to ask the teacher during or after class than to struggle to remember later that night.
Second, use any extra time you have in school to work on your homework. Many schools have study halls that are specifically designed to allow students to study or get homework done. The more work you can get done in school, the less you'll have to do that night.

Third, pace yourself. If you don't finish your homework during school, think about how much you have left and what else is going on that day, and then budget your time. It's a good idea to come up with some kind of homework schedule, especially if you are involved in sports or activities or have an after-school job.

A bedroom, office, or any other room where you can get away from noise and distractions is the best place to get homework done. But don't study on your comfy bed; opt for a desk or table that is comfortable and allows you to set up your computer. (Nemours Foundation)

When you start your homework, tackle the hardest assignments first. It's tempting to start with the easy stuff to get it out of the way, but you'll have the most energy and focus when you begin, so it's best to use this mental power on the subjects that are most challenging. (Nemours Foundation)

Most people's attention spans aren't very long, so take some breaks while doing your homework. Sitting for too long without stretching or relaxing will make you less productive than if you stop every so often. Taking a 15-minute break every hour is a good idea for most people. (Nemours Foundation)

References

Nemours Foundation

Sue Scheff: Summer Programs are filling up

It is the time of year that many summer programs are actually filling up!

Finding a good summer programs, such as Leadership Programs, can help your child build their self esteem to make better choices as well as motivate them to reach their highest potential.

If your child is starting to struggling in school, whether it is peer pressure or other issues, you may want to consider summer alternatives.

Visit http://www.helpyourteens.com/

Sue Scheff: The Internet Generation - Internet Safety

Today’s kids have grown up online. Finding their way around the Internet and posting on social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook is part of their every day life. But in this online world … What are they saying? Who are they “talking” to?

How can we keep our kids safe from danger – both emotional and physical?Did you know that 70 percent of teens on the Internet have accidentally found pornography on the web; 60 percent have been contacted online by a stranger; another 60 percent have been victims of online bullying; and 45 percent have posted personal information?

The Internet Generation tells of online experiences and stories your kids may not be telling you about this 24/7 cyber- world. You’ll hear insights on setting specific rules, keeping track of kids’ online visits, and talking with them – armed with hard facts and real-life examples – about the very real threats out there.

When it comes to Internet know-how, can parents ever catch up with their kids? Yes. Watch The Internet Generation and start the conversation with your children about what’s on the Internet – the good and the bad. The Internet is here to stay, and it’s our responsibility to keep kids safe, especially when they’re online.

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Connect with Kids is a great source of information for parents to keep updated on today's issues surrounding kids today.

Reputation Defender/MyChild is an excellent first stop for parents to consider to keep their child's privacy - "private."